I am new here so if this has been brought up I apologize but I am beyond knowing what to do or how to handle this.

My husbands ex feels it necessary to try and dictate punishments, phone calls and anything else she thinks she should be able to control in our house.

We only see his son during school breaks since we are in different states, thanks to the military. We def prefer to see him more.

On numerous occasions she has called us after finding out that their son is grounded for what ever reason not agreeing with the punishment saying that we are being to harsh on the child, really?! we have told her more times then i want to count that she has her punishment in her house and we have ours, we don't tell you how to punish him when he is there, if anything its been backing her up with the punishment.
My husband is only allowed to call 1x per day at a certain time, per court order, we have her cell # and when she pays the for minutes for the child his number. Yes we could get minutes for him but we already pay a butt load of c/s so that just isnt going to happen. We have 3 numbers that she can call to get ahold of him and its not just 1x a day its whenever she wants. We have told her numerous times that she needs to call 1x a day at 7pm, if he isnt available he will call her back.. O my you would think we declared war on her or something, their starts a fight..
My husband lets his son know that he will be gone for a week, on duty, and will call when he can or gets back.. this is 2x a month.. man there is another fight with her.. you cant explain anything to her.. she calls and says that my husband doesnt love the child and doesnt want him around because he has a new family, in front of the child mind you.. but trying to explain to her again that he was gone and just got back is useless, she is former military--different branch but knows all about the military..
there are so many things that she has done to go against the court order is unbelievable but since the court in the county where it was filed hates men so going to them is fruitless. We have gone to the courts about some pretty unbelievable stuff with proof and orders but she feels that she is above the law and has been proven that she is above the law..
she has called the military police on us many times that it is becoming a complete joke. I think we might even be on a first name basis with some of them..

so with all that being said and typed, that is only within the last couple of months, we have been married for 6 years and the child is 11 so I only have 7 more years that i have to deal with her.. I need some advice on how to deal with this bs..
Thanks