Feel like giving up
Just need some advice or positive thoughts that things can work out!
I give everything to this family, I do everything for all of us, I try to treat everyone the same but if I dare have an opinion about any of his kids he isn't happy about it. We have recently been on a caravan holiday with the kids, his youngest son (9) Kept playing on his phone and I made a few comments saying I think he should get off and go and play with the others and I get snapped at for picking on him. Today he has been the shop and bought his youngest 2 children sweets home, no one else. I have had a dogs life for even buying my son a drink in the past when I have been the shop so I have stopped. I just feel like I can't be bothered anymore, it's too hard.
any advice?
Your problem is your DH
The main issue I see here is lack of parity toward the kids. Tho it's not possible to feel the same toward a stepkid as a bio, treatment should be the same. Have you ever discussed this with him? I'm guessing you might have but no change. Counseling would be a good step if you can't get thru to him. It's not fair to your kids to be treated differently.
As to remarks about your SD, my DH was/is defensive, too. The only luck I've ever had is when I frame it as concern, like, "I worry about SS, I hope he's not spending too much time on his phone. The authorities say kids should be playing outside rather than staying in on their phones. (Add positive comment about SS)".
Good luck.
Your DH is a jerk
Not fairly buying everyone something. You have to put your foot down. Telling him how it's going to be. His kids must behaved, You are not there mother, you don't have to go caravan with the SK. You are doing him a favor, Unless he shapes up. There will be no move vacations with SK.
You are married to an asshole
You are married to an asshole. Stop that. Move on, find a partner who is worthy of you rather than wasting your life on this piece of shit and his shit spawn.
Ending a mistake of a marriage to a crap partner is not giving up. It is investing in living your best life.
Prick
Your DH is an A hole. Thats cruel, and this will affect your kids. They will see the hierarchy and see that their step daddio favors. Im generally in the step parent camp. This however screams present and future problems in your marriage. This is the very reason why step kids can become A holes to a step parent. Likewise when skids treat the step parent like crap. SAME RESULT. Not to mention your skids may rub into your kids face that they are treated better. This needs to STOP ASAP. These are young kids, not adult skids.
Unless your DH changes this destructive and petty behavior you will have nothing but problemos.
Blessings
Luckily the other kids didn't
Luckily the other kids didn't know anything about the sweets but it just left a bitter taste in my mouth after he feel out with me because DS had asked me to get him a drink when I had gone the shops. That was the first and last time I done it and now I buy all or none.
I'm fed up that he can say things about my kids like my DS eats too many sweets (which he probably does!) but I listen to what he says and try and restrict how many sweets he eats where I can but if I make a comment about his kids he gets so defensive. Like my DSS was being extremely loud on his PlayStation. My DD complained as it was 11pm at night and asked if we could tell him to be quiet and instead of saying yes ok he responds saying oh it's ok when she is being loud though but DSS doesn't complain (their rooms are next to each other and he can be quite loud as he wears headphones) It's just wearing me down.