hmmm...I get how you feel. But I also get how your SO feels.

I am more like your SO actually. DH and I met and fell in love and he wanted to marry. I would not. I wanted to raise my kids first. Period. My first commitment was to my children.

We lived apart (same neighborhood) for about 7 years. Finally got married when my last child was 15. It worked out great. I highly recommend not living together until kids are older. It will save a lot of heartache and drama.

Read these boards and see what some of these women go through. Especially with female skids!! And you have 3. Maybe just put the brakes on pushing for marriage so soon.

Good luck!

Well for starters they are teens and they are girls, you have the deck stacked against you (in my opinion)
You broke up because you wanted something more than he could offer you since he is just a part time boyfriend?

I guess I would assume or say from your story, if it were me, I would move on. He doesn't have what I'm looking for and he's not going to change, the daughters/kids take priority and you have 5 bios of my own to look after would be my thoughts, but I don't know how you feel emotionally or your goals, and dreams, just going off your story.

This seems like a bad situation in my opinion. He asked you to let him move in during the time he is not with his kids? Seems like he needs a crutch and can't be alone. Does he actually live with you as in pay bills and take care of the house or does he just stay there? I think it would be best to move on. Something is not right with this situation.

Weeeeeeeelllll... You're not "wrong". But that doesn't make THEM "wrong" either, you know? You have a goal (being a family) and a timeline in your head. It is COMPLETELY your right to have those things. But (and here's the important bit) you can't force your goals or timeline on anyone. Especially not the skids - they have the absolute RIGHT to approach their relationship with you on their own timeline. (Misbehavior is something else. But being "cold" and not feeling like a family is NOT something you can demand they change.)

I guess I'd say have your timeline and stick to it - but be prepared to walk away. (Again.) You have the right to your own expectations and wants, but if they don't meet those then that doesn't make them bad people. It just means it's not the family (or the guy) for you.

i REALLy think what you are doing now - which might make you lonely every other week - is indeed the best scenario. Spend sometime hear reading what life is like when they are actually living with you and are openly hostile. Many go the route of moving out and just dating their SO when he doesn't have the kids. Many here would love the setup you have now because really, it is ideal. I know it doesn't seem that way but you'd be giving three teenage girls all the power in your relationship and statistics show teenage girl stepchildren are a huge predicator of divorce. If you really in love, then you'll be really in love in four years when they age out. Or most of them age out anyway

1) you "dated" a married man while he was in a oh so awful marriage with his wife, he says.

2) he left awful wife to hook up with you, bc it was awful and you are so awesome

3) his kids see you as a homewrecker, which you are. I notice you don't address any accusations in the posts above. Head in sand.

4) you have 5 kids to be worried about. their future and wellbeing as well as their relationships with their dad. That sounds like it should be your top priority right now. You don't say how you're kids are doing.... just that they have accepted and adore this awesome guy who left his wife for the woman that he cheated on his wife with. I'm a bit shocked that you give that as the excuse why you left your husband but it's ok for you? How do you think this guy's wife felt.. awful or not? maybe the same way you might have felt when you found out your spouse was cheating on you? AND your kids sound like that don't really have a choice, they accepted what you've put in front of them.

5) I'm not a hater. I'm not perfect but it's obvious that you are not focusing on the main issues. You almost sound like a teenager yourself. worried about stuff that just frankly should be non issues right now. His kids are not going to accept you now, if ever. You are really not even free to get married. And you can't wait to jump into another marriage??
Why the rush? You already know that love doesnt cure everything. How can you expect these girls to just forgive the woman that changed their lives forever? Don't hold your breath.

6) Therapy would be the key to getting yourself in the right place with some balance in your life. It just sounds like you need to figure YOU out before you start planning a fairty tale blended family life. It's not easy even with families that don't face these difficult issues that you already are dealing with.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, I just prefer to speak plainly. You did ask. I think you are fooling yourself.

Step back. Either be the part time girlfriend and find other ways to enjoy your life like spending time with friends or taking trips with your own kids. Do not sit on the sidelines waiting for this man to come back to you every 2 weeks.

If you want hm 100% you are not going to get it. His daughters find their father less than a man because he left their mother. My kids felt the same about their father when he walked out on me. They are NOT forgiving. Their world is destroyed and their mother is grieving for her marriage. I did the same. When someone makes the arbitrary decision to end a marriage with no regard for how it affects others esp. the children and sets up home with another woman who he was seeing while still married.... honestly it isn't pretty. Kids will not forgive you and want to be your BFF because that would hurt their mother and frankly they do not like you. You can wish all you want for the happy-clappy lets all get along future but it will not happen. You and their father have undermined their belief system and their faith. Therefore their mother WILL always consider herself his wife despite whatever the law says. Nothing apart from the woman herself will change that. Her daughters are hurt that their father made this decision.

How would you feel if the woman who your husband cheated with was/is still in the picture and she wants nothing more than for your kids to be her friend? To all get along and not really care about feelings or love for the wronged parent?

You have been only doing the week together/week apart thing for two months now, give it time. It is normal to feel left out, jealous and lonely if your partner is off enjoying life elsewhere, but it is up to you to make it work. As with most of the advice here, I think that rushing to move you all in together asap is not a great idea. Instead work on ways to make the most of your current set up and then see what happens naturally. Obviously you and your boyfriend need to work out a long term plan at some stage, but it isn't necessary right now to get all the details in place.

So focus on finding small ways you can connect to your boyfriend on his week in his house. Communicating, but also doing nice things for each other. Write each other notes, send small gifts to each other, watch the same movie/tv show together while talking on the phone, maybe see if you two can go on a breakfast or lunch date alone every now and then. The other aspect is to focus on doing things on your own that you couldn't do with him and or his kids around. Spending quality time with your kids, taking up a new hobby, watching the tv shows/movies that he hates, eating food he doesn't like, spending time with your friends or family. Use the time apart to re build yourself and your life as if you would if you were single and getting over your marriage, only this time you don't have the distraction of dating to take away from doing you-things because you know who you want to be with already.

I spent almost 2 years living separately from my husband when I first met him (as in 5000 miles apart). It was agony at times when I just wanted to hold his hand or hug him. But ultimately it meant that we built a really solid relationship. We had time and space to get used to each other, we had hours of discussions on skype, and emails talking about all aspects of ourselves, our lives, our hopes and our dreams for our future. The distance helped us to not rush into things and also the saying is so true...absence does make the heart grow fonder. I truly believe that our time apart was a blessing for our relationship. It could be the same for you too if you let it be.

I got with my OH pretty soon after splitting with my children's dad, it just happened that way. My OH had lived on his own for two years though. We moved in together after a year and are both getting re married after two. We are perfectly happy even though some people may say that's rushing. Our kids are all under 12 though so I do agree with the teenager thing! It has been more difficult for my OH kids though because they had him to themselves for two years when he lived alone. So sometimes being single for a long time can actually be worse. Each situation is different x

I encourage you to read the forum on adult step children. That is what your life will be like if you stay. I say date other people. But feel free to vent. I don't judge when you met him. It may matter to his kids but this is 2015. Lots of people date when they are seperated. My DH did.