Going crazy
My husband has full custody of his 19 month old son. I have basically been his live in nanny since he got custody, or at least that's how I feel. My husband decided to get a job where he leaves before his son wakes up and gets home after he goes to bed, and experience ts me to be the one to take care of him.
I just had a baby 2 weeks ago and I have made it pretty clear I cannot take care of his son until our daughter gets to be 2 months okd. I know he's only 19 months old, but he acts HORRIBLE. I cannot take him anywhere, not even the park, without him throwing horrible tantrums. He throws things, runs away, hits peopke, kicks me or other people, bangs his head on things. I do not have the patience nor am I getting enough sleep to do that.
His mother is not allowed to have him alone, and my husband sats we don't have the money et to pay for fulltime daycare. My response is we would if he did not take his coworkers out to eat EVERYDAY! I'm at my wits end and I do not know how to get through to him.
It's your hubby's
It's your hubby's responsibility to make arrangements for his kid, regardless. You can tell him to sort something out 'cos you're too busy looking after your own child.
You guys need to have a sit down to discuss this 'cos it's only gotta get worse if you don't.
Oh trust me I've talked, I've
Oh trust me I've talked, I've yelled, I've griped. His reaction is well I'm working to provide for us.
I understand that but it's his job to have care planned for his son when he can't be here. Since his sons mother is not allowed to have him it's my husbands job, but he thinks it's my job to either care for him or find him care. Sick of it.
Hun I totally understand! I
Hun I totally understand! I have two of my own who are 5 and 2, plus right now have step son who is 9 living with us. Normally that would sound so much better than a new born and 19 month old. But my step son is ADD/ADHD and on top of that I am due with our child June 4th, which I have a very good feeling wont even stay in that long!
But I understand the feeling of being "used" Normally I get up every single day during the week at 5 a.m.tuesday-friday, 6 a.m. on Mondays just to wake both hubby and step son up. (my hubby drives a school bus) So my step son goes with him to work anyways. But after I end up doing that I normally can not go back to sleep no matter how badly I am exhausted. So while hubby is at work until 8:30-9 a.m. (He comes home for break until 2 p.m.) I am still awake and so are my two kids, while yet again he sleeps until he has to go back to work at 2 p.m.
Then when Step son and hubby get home at 5 p.m. step son starts to complain about the homework he is supposed to do, considering he just moved here from Texas a month ago, he has catching up to do. But hubby will start to play a video game and step son will be so into watching hubby play. That it has gotten to the point I don't even bother saying anything to him anymore.
But if hubby leaves the room or even leaves the house my daughter (5) and step son (9) are at each others throats about every little thing. But when hubby is here they leave one another alone. But I actually now really hate weekends the most out of all of it. Because yet again, when saturday and sunday hit I am the one up with the kids while he sleeps till who knows when. Then he also wants to do the "major" cleaning on the weekends as well. Normally during the week I do all the cleaning.
On top of that the only way the hubby will sleep is if his feet are scratched. So for almost every night this week until about midnight-2 a.m. I am scratching his feet so he will sleep. If I tell him no he will bug the shit out of me. Or he asks if I will sit by him. I haven't left this house by myself in over two weeks. If I do go anywhere it is with him and all the kids.
He asked me what he could do to make me feel special, my response was "not a damn thing". Because honestly nothing would. Considering it wouldn't last long anyways.
On top of that mothers day is coming up, and to me its going to be another day to me. It used to mean the world to me because I felt special. But now, I will have nothing but kids around me and honestly I really don't want to.
I'm going to take a slightly
I'm going to take a slightly different tack on this. It sounds like you're a stay at home mom? (I know you said your baby is newborn, but I get the feeling from your post that you stayed home with his son while you were pregnant too?) So your DH is supporting you and both kids. I think you need to get a job and put both of them in daycare - or watch both of them if DH is the one supporting all of you. I get that you want some alone time with your daughter, but I had newborn twins and a 3 year old at one point. So you CAN watch a 19 month old and a newborn, it can absolutely be done. What are you going to do if you have a second child, ship your firstborn off to her grandparents for 2 months? No, you make it work.
And for what it's worth, 19 months is like the WORST for tantrums. They want to communicate and just can't and it's SO frustrating for them. Do your best, give timeouts (in a playpen or something) for hitting, and hang on to your patience as best you can.
Good luck!