Here is my story at the moment and I dont know how to feel or the best way to respond, I'm hoping for input. I am not yet a SD but this is the woman I would like to spend the rest of my life with. I have one Daughter and her mom is a bit of a fruit but that is a different story. My GF has four live in children 9,7,and five year old twins (boy and girl). We have been dating for almost two years and We waited about six mo before we introduced ourselves to each others children. At the time she was legally separated for over a year and just waiting for him to sign the papers. He is a cheat and a bit of a delusional douch and from her account never wanted children, treated them badly and acted like a fool around them when he was here(work was his priority) spent most of his time avoiding family time and took basically no interest in raising his children, thats why they are divorced. So When I came on the scene she was letting him come to her house and stay for the weekends that were his, she left him there and spent the weekends with me, He had no idea what he was doing and called her constantly, well in the natural course of the relationship it was decided that having him in the house on the weekends, oh and every wed, wasn't in the best interest of the children, they were too young to understand why daddy couldn't just stay and having me there from time to time only made it more confusing. I eventually started spending most of my free time with her and the kids. It was stated repeatedly that I was in no way shape or form trying to replace their dad, I have my own child and would never do that to him, BUT I am an adult in the house and should be treated with a certain amount of respect, I have no issues with enforcing the house rules...anyway on to the problem, he has decided....i no....that he wants to be a parent after seven years of opportunity now that he feels threatened by me he wants to get involved. Well he is the parent and has all the rights that follow, but he has no idea how to raise children, he lets them do whatever they want when they are with him and naturally they think he is the greatest person in the world,he is a very insecure person and cant discipline his children because he is afraid they will stop loving him..or something..I dont really know what the issue is. He has a job that he disappears for a month or so at a time, you cant get the truth out of him, he lies to us and his children and manipulates them to suit his own selfish needs. As a result when he is home for a couple weeks he makes life in this house hell. I think the sad thing is that he sees me as the enemy or like I stole his family which is not the case, I arrived after the fact and she had no intention or lead him to believe that they were going to get back together. I am just am outsider, I have no intentions nor have I tried to take anything from him, I would have no problem going by his rules pertaining to the kids IF HE HAD ANY!! I do not think he is a fit parent, he's not an idiot, just a self centered douch. So his children tell him that they dont like me even though we have a great time when we are together. He is making threats towards me to them to the point where I cant be put in the same room, I really want to kick the shit out of him, Im 5'7" but 190lbs of muscle and of very little words, he's 5'9" and 160lbs of shit and talks too much. I dont want to hurt him but cant let him disrespect me...I am just a man. I feel betrayed by the children because they say they dont like me to him and it feeds the drama. Right now I dont know if I should stay in this relationship, I have no doubt the children love me and I love them but I cannot continue being put in a situation where the kids are allowed to play me for my attention and treat the shit of a parent like the sun shines out his ass, I didnt have four kids... they did..is it my responsibility to be the bad guy because he wont be. These are good kids that NEED a father not a buddy. I cant stand the thought of abandoning them and there mother ( who is an excellent mother, very intelligent and well raised, I love her very much ) but there is no getting through to him....I could go on for an hour but I'll stop here. advice PLEASE!! I feel lost.