Hello, I'm not officially a step-parent,I'm engaged to a man who has 2 children from his previous marriage...so, in my book, that qualifies. Where to start? Well, this will be a random rant but there is a point to it all: I've been with my boyfriend almost a year but have been living with him now only 3 months. Since I have moved in, his ex wife has completely gone off the deep end & does everything she can to make our life together miserable.
I expected her to do that, actually but I THOUGHT I'd be able to handle it. I'm not easily bothered or even easily stressed, but lately - I've been so stressed, I'm actually manifesting physical symptoms that are very uncomfortable!! The kids are 3 & 6 (both girls) and their mother does all kinds of brainwashing on them - primarily the 6 yr. old. We know this because the 6 yr. old will say things that just sound so unlike her. The ex wife is a radical Christian (which I have a serious problem with, as I am spiritual but not religious) and my fiance does not follow her ideals, either. They have court orders for specific visits but every day, she changes everything around on us at the last minute. Changes times or days, denies him days, switches weekends, denies him holidays, etc. etc. etc. Usually none of this becomes evident until just hours before, so our plans are always getting dropped. I get mad because he won't stand up to her, but he says if he does, she'll use it against him with the kids! (And say Daddy doesn't want to see you tonight, or whatever.) She also makes him wait when he DOES go to get them & every time I'm with him, she runs away, which I think is funny as hell. We've never been formally introduced...she will literally RUN away. She calls him at least 8 times a night on the weekends he has the girls, she texts repeatedly - she is verbally abusive to him at the same time, through texts...Essentially, I believe she just wants her money from him every month but wants to take the kids away from him. Which leads us to the new development: She just informed him yesterday that she is moving to another city, within this same state. (Approx. 3 hours away.)Now things will really hit the fan, as my fiance will be sad & stressed out. I don't like how she can do these things & get away with it all but what is most surprising is the fact that I am actually stressed out over it all - I'm stressed out when the kids come over, I'm discovering it's really rather hard to raise other people's children - my parenting styles clash with my fiance's - he's very lazy with them & doesn't really enforce rules, plus he lets them run all over the place & make a mess everywhere. Everytime they leave, I'm so upset because everything is always upside down. Ok, well - there's so much more to say, but this should be good enough for now. One more thing - I have long hair & the ex has short hair & she keeps cutting the 6 yr. old's hair in the same style as her own because she wants her daughter to look like her. I know this because that's what the 6 yr. old told me once. And the 6 yr. old & I are really close, so I know that bothers the ex wife a LOT. Plus, the 6 yr. old told me one day that she wants to call me Mommy, but that her own mother had told her not to & had also told her not to do any "mommy things" with me. Yes, these are the sort of things this woman is saying to her own child!!
This is seriously an issue in my relationship with my fiance...if nothing changes, I will have to leave. I moved here to be with him, there is nothing in this tiny blah city for me but him. I hate this city & that alone makes me miserable. A big part of me wants to move back home and an even bigger part of me is starting to shut down...I don't want to leave him because of the stress his ex wife is causing, but if this continues...???