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I don't want to marry until kids are grown

TacoThug's picture

Submitted by TacoThug on Sun, 12/22/2013 - 4:30am

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Blended Family Issues

My girl friend wants to get married in the next couple of years and I don't because I don't wanna be finacially responsible for her kids and I don't want to have to spend an extra 200 a month adding them on my health insurance. It's sounds shallow but they have a dad so I shouldn't have to pitch in. I already pay half the rent so technically I'm providing for them as well but beyound that, I shouldn't be held responsible.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Sun, 12/22/2013 - 6:46am

So, then, don't. You have to be prepared to loose her if she feels differently about the marriage issue than you do, but you're right that you have no obligations to them, what so ever. I'm pretty sure my own marriage is over, and it will be a very long time (if ever) before I marry again.

TacoThug's picture

Submitted by TacoThug on Sun, 12/22/2013 - 7:09am

Thanks for understanding and remaining objective. I know there are a lot of people who would have labeled me an ass.

onthefence2's picture

Submitted by onthefence2 on Sun, 12/22/2013 - 12:23pm

Problem is, it doesn't sound he's being truthful, transparent, or real with the right person. We don't know what the woman wants or is expecting. Has there even been a conversation about this? I'm thinking these discussions should happen before anyone even moves in. If you are living together with your own expectations that haven't been talked out, there is a problem. You can look at it as "paying half the rent" but you can also look at it as "she's paying half the rent" and who knows who's paying for the rest? My boyfriend and I don't even live together and we have had these conversations, about who would pay for what. I'm takin back that KUDOS; it's not deserved. Grow up and address it with the right person.

TacoThug's picture

Submitted by TacoThug on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 4:29am

Don't act like you dont hold back. Everybody does to an extent. Some of you on here are racist, but does it make it right for you to proclaim it to the world so you can earn the "keeping it real" title?

onthefence2's picture

Submitted by onthefence2 on Tue, 12/24/2013 - 12:23am

I'm not sure wth you are talking about, but *I* do not hold back especially when it is a life altering decision. I'm not going to hold back when I move all my shit in and then down the road say, "Oh, btw..." When you are moving in, all cards go on the table. You can take shacking up lightly if you don't have kids, but when kids are involved that luxury goes out the window.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Sun, 12/22/2013 - 6:53pm

I agree. You should be having this conversation with her. She deserves to know
How you feel. No point in talking about marriage at all if you're afraid to
Have a financial discussion with her. She really does
Deserve to be told this.

TacoThug's picture

Submitted by TacoThug on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 4:26am

There is nothing wrong with collecting my thoughts before I talk to her. I can consult th any resource I want to before I speak with her.