I give up

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I tried and tried to the point I cant try anymore. It seems as though my bf will never see my side on anything when it comes to his daughter and no matter what happens im the one who gets blamed or my kids for her bratty behavior. Ive tried to talk to him about it, his ex and her parents have literally messaged him telling him how she is at home yet when she comes here and cries about anything i get the blunt of it. She acted up last night, doing something she wasnt suppose to and instead of seeing what she did he instead picked her up like a baby, coddled her, called my kid an AH to me and went to bed. Hasnt spoke to me since. Shes here with me and hasnt had one problem either of them but as soon as he gets here she will turn into a brat and things will change. I just cant see how a child can ruin a relationship but this one most definitely is because he doesnt want to see what hes doing is wrong by spoiling her, everyone has told him yet it doesnt matter. What she wants and whatever she cries for she will get. And I just cant deal anymore. My level of hurt on all this is enough. I just dont understand anymore.. It hurts to love someone so much and would do anything for them only to watch them treat you like crap. Seems to be a repeat for me, and im just done. I give up.

I just cant see how a child

I just cant see how a child can ruin a relationship

The child is not ruining the relationship, your boyfriend is. He is also ruining his child by spoiling her like this.

She obviously knows that she can get away with this behavior with him, since she only does it when he's around. It is beyond me why some parents would encourage their children to be brats.

He's calling your kid an asshole to you? It's probably only a matter of time before he says it to your kid.

I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who's treatment of me depends on how their kid is behaving.

Your bf is ruining the

Your bf is ruining the relationship. His kid is spoiled.

2 questions:
1) Why is his kid with you when he is not home? She is there to be with daddy, NOT you.
2) Why are you with someone who calls your child an AH? I don't know if your child is well-behaved or not, but that's a load of crap.

You're not married. His kid is already playing games. Move on.

Run, don't walk. The writing

Run, don't walk. The writing is on the wall. Things will get worse from here. I would pack ASAP or tell him he needs to go.

Run, don't walk. The writing

Run, don't walk. The writing is on the wall. Things will get worse from here. I would pack ASAP or tell him he needs to go.

Get out since you're not

Get out since you're not married. I wish I had it that easy. I've been with DH nearly 10 years, married for 6 and SDs FT for almost 3 years. Things have been bad since the SDs moved in FT after BM died. One thing after another. They are SDstb20 and SD13. It has taken me literally 8 months to get up the courage to call an attorney. I did it today. I wish it were simpler. You need to face the music and move on.....My probs are with a 20 year old. It doesn't go away when they turn 18 either. It just gets amped up.

~ Moon

Oh No!! I am so sorry to hear

Oh No!! I am so sorry to hear that you contacted an attorney. Do you have children?

His daughter is 4 mine is 9.

His daughter is 4 mine is 9. Its always like this. She always get the blame when his daughter is here. Basically told me earlier that my children acted a certain way when i wasnt around. I understand that but i do know my children and i know my 9 year old would not mistreat his daughter. Shes not like that regardless. Anywhere she goes people compliment me on how well behaved she is and how awesome her manors are. My oldest who is almost 15 was in the room. Told me as soon as he told her it was bedtime and left the room she started being mean to my daughter. The only thing my daughter did was try to protect her from getting her hand suck in a dog kennel. She started crying when she told her not too and he rushed in got angry and coddled her. Told me it always happens when shes here that my daughter is always making his daughter cry. Ive had her since this morning when he left for work and i havent had one issue. Not one problem. Ive heard the childs mother complain about how she mistreats her stepdaughter. Ive heard them complain on how she acts at home and how much she screams and cries and how she has a smart mouth. He tells me he tells her that she doesnt wanna live her because thats not her bedroom. She has a bedroom at both grand parents and her great grand parents and at her mothers. My daughter doesnt even have her own room here or at her fathers. She shares one. She doesnt know what its like to have her own bedroom and always makes his daughter feel welcome. The child is spoiled beyond words and my anxiety is so high everytime shes here i dont know what to do. I do everything for him and for her and its never enough there is always a problem or something weve done against her. Hes basically ignored me all day and claimed on his lunch break he was on the phone which is why he didnt talk to me. Which is a lie, he didnt talk to anyone he was ignoring me and on FB where he stays. I wonder sometimes if there is someone else but cant understand it since he asked me to marry him. I dont get anything anymore or why im being mistreated as well as my children.

So sorry. tough situation.

So sorry. tough situation. move on.

^^^ This! I make sure there

^^^ This!

I make sure there is always an adult around kids. Learnt that the hard way, but constant supervision minimises 'he said she said'.

I no longer babysit SD5.

6 months ago SO and I were aware of issues and discussed them fairly, identified the problems and came up with solutions. Sat with all kids and drew up new house rules, told all kids that SO and I were a team and have each other permission to enforce the rules if other parent not there. SO just couldn't stick to it, he kept letting the rules slide for SD, didn't always back me up etc. So I told him I would no longer babysit for me, not even if he pops out to post office, he can take his spoiled brat with him.

It's only been one visitation that I've not babysat, and he's starting to understand now, he sees SD's behaviors better etc and is now acting accordingly. Still, too late for him, I'm NOT changing my mind about babysitting, I think he needs more time dealing with his brat alone before I trust that he won't take me and house rules for granted

Your BF is projecting....look

Your BF is projecting....look it up, its a form of emotional abuse.

He is projecting the reality (his daughters bad behavior) onto you and your daughter. Its a way emotional abusers get away with NOT taking responsibility for their own behavior/decisions/actions. It gets lumped back onto you for you to deal with instead of where it should belong...with HIM.

PLUS, he sulks and punishes YOU for something HIS daughter did (designed so you back down)....Sounds like indicators of a Narcissistic personality.

RUN!

That makes perfect sense

That makes perfect sense considering she does absolutely nothing wrong. As soon as he got home she went into mega brat mode. It was horrible and he knew it. I told my daughter to just keep her distance and be as kind as possible until she goes home. She knows she can't treat me that way and get over on me YET but once familiar faces are around i.e him his parents etc she goes into full chaos mode. And he coddles and creates more tension. Since she's been gone he's been a sweet heart but once she's back around again it's like he himself can't stand her but he has.too bc it's his kid...so he projects it on me because he's too immature to deal.

That makes perfect sense

So the child went home and

So the child went home and told her mother she was fat and ugly and said that my kids called me fat and ugly and the ex started blaming my kids. My kids dont talk that way, besides im 5'4 130 lbs shes 5'7 or so 200 plus. And i dont speak about her around her kid at all or mine.

PLEASE protect your DD and

PLEASE protect your DD and not subject her to the emotional abuse from your BF and his little princess.

Why are you babysitting his DD anyway. Focus on your own DD and make her feel special and loved.

This situation does not sound healthy for you.

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