I hope I make it without losing my mind for 4 weeks.
Hello,
I'm new here. I have to say, I'm so relieved to have found a space to vent, hope I don't get blasted for this but...Boyfriends daughter (8)is coming today and will stay 4 weeks. 4 freakin' long weeks. I do not like this child at all. She's manipulative, she has horrible manners, a tattle tale, a spy (reports everything to BM via skype, phone, etc), so many things wrong with this child. She stays on the phone with her BM constantly and tries to find things to complain about around my house. I will walk in the door from work and she'll run up "Dadddd, what is she making me for dinner?"...seriously. I don't feed her anymore or buy groceries the entire time she's there. She'll just complain about it anyway. I simply can not bear the thought of sharing MY house with this monster for 4 weeks. I've tried for 2 years to like this child, I give up. I have planned my weekends gone for the whole month. Honestly, I wish I could just take off for the entire time and not even be there during the week, too. UGH. Thanks for letting me vent. Today just sucks. SIGH.
Hahaha! Yeah, I did that once
Hahaha! Yeah, I did that once last year to her! Booger soup! Mmmm!
He's frustrated, he wishes it wasn't like this with me (and the kid, but realizes it's a losing battle. He acknowledges my concerns and everything, but really, because of his pscychotic ex, (the kids BM) he really is helpless in the situation. He does tell her (after I shoot glances at him) to stop the constant interrupting, etc. It's just really a no win. Supposedly, they go back to court in August for something (it's ALWAYS something with that BM). I told him I really do not like her here for 4 straight weeks in summer. We can't do anything because of it. It sucks and it's not fair. I asked him to change it to 4 weeks randomly spaced throughout the summer. He agreed, so at least (HOPEFULLY) this will be the last time I have to deal with it. Still doesn't change the fact that this month is going to suck ass.
Girl be glad it's just 4
Girl be glad it's just 4 weeks. SD8 is at my house 7 days on 7 days off FOREVER! You just fill up your weekends and stay away, her visit is to be spending quality time with Dad so let them do that and save your sanity!
Good Luck!
OMG..Yeah, I could definitely
OMG..Yeah, I could definitely NOT deal with that at all! Thank you!
Side note, he just called and said she's not coming over until Sunday now. Hooray! That pretty much made my day.
Also, evenings during the week, I've decided I will spend at the gym after work until about 10pm, her bedtime. Upside, I'll get my ass in shape and won't have to deal with ANY of it. Muahahahahaha!
How old is she? My BD11 goes
How old is she? My BD11 goes to bed at 8:30 even during the summer because she's so exhausted from day camp.
Great idea working out, it will make you feel good and keep you busy. Also, as a current step-monster let me tell you to get a membership at a bulk store and buy wine, lot's of it!
She's 9. Last year he would
She's 9. Last year he would let her stay up until 10pm, maybe I should suggest it be earlier? She will be going to day camp this year, last summer he was home all summer and she wasn't doing anything during the day (but finding activities for him to spend money on).
I have that membership already! Haha! And yup, I plan on it! Believe me!
Mine is 9 and her bed time is
Mine is 9 and her bed time is much earlier, especially with her going to daycamp. I would suggest to your SO that she be in bed no later than 9 because she needs a full nights sleep so she can be well rested and ready to play hard at camp.
Count your lucky stars my SD
Count your lucky stars my SD is with us 24/7 365 with a random break for a holiday. I would probably die of heart attack from joy if someone announced she would only be home for 4 weeks. The evil stares, lies, complaining and over all rudeness makes me never want to come home....I have no advice except I find my DF and I are happiest when I completely ignore it and just shower him with love. It steams her and she just avoids us AT ALL COSTS. Haha little girl-you want to play attention games. Let me tell you the attention I give DF I will win every time. Game Over.
SD12 came to live with us
SD12 came to live with us full-time a few months ago.... ugh...
We have had all kinds of "food wars."
She insists on processed food all the time. I loathe fake food. So we were at an impasse.
She wanted canned ravioli. I made homemade lasagna. Told DH I couldn't imagine why she wouldn't eat it. It was the same thing as ravioli, only in a different form, right? He couldn't disagree. Same thing with frozen pizza. I made homemade instead. Again, how could he argue with me for making her nice, homemade, healthy food? She, of course, professed to hate it all (though she did end up eating it and seeming to enjoy it).
Right now we are fighting mac n cheese wars. I made homemade mac n cheese and she loved it and ate a TON of it. Then she decided she didn't like it at all and can't we make box mac n cheese, Daddyyyy? You like it, too, don't you Daddyyy? At this point, Daddyyyy knows better than to try to tell me what to make for dinner unless he wants to make it himself, so it hasn't worked out well for her.
It's nothing but a power struggle... one I intend to win.
Oh man, that blows! We
Oh man, that blows! We wouldn't be together if he had her all the time. I couldn't do it. No way.
Yeah, I do my best to just ignore, good plan. Thanks!
OMG..Katielee..yup. That's
OMG..Katielee..yup. That's why I don't cook for them anymore. I gave up.
And I swear, that Daddyyyyy thing makes me freakin' NUTZ!!! Every 5 damn minutes it's something.
Yup - same here. Hates
Yup - same here. Hates everything I cook. Guess what too bad make a sandwich. Then rolls her eyes when DF says it's delicious. Haha - I win again and DF and my boys are happy talking at the table-laughing. She's pouting/sulking so everyone will turn their attention to her. What's wrong? Oh you don't like it? Oh poor SD wah wah wah.....she is the biggest attention seeker I have ever met, completely self absorbed that's prob why she has no friends and clings to us 24/7 or him I should say.
Recently she was screaming at him, she hates him, he's mean, doesn't want any of her friends at the house becuz of him....blah, blah, blah.....very next day asks if her 1 and only friend could come over. He asks my opinion....I recited all she said the day before and said she should write an essay why she's says such hateful things with no apology........Que the drums... Reason because he puts me first...he may not see it but she does. Haha and that's right I am the queen of the house and don't forget it!!!! I just laughed that's her "excuse" for screaming at you???? In some cases he is still a Disney dad as that explanation was good enough and friend came over. If it were me no way....you don't get to blame your actions on someone else. Try again.....
I would have had the same
I would have had the same reaction to your DF. I say bravo on that!
The kid is 8. You have 10
The kid is 8. You have 10 more years of this to go.
I don't agree that your boyfriend is helpless. He can still come up with age-appropriate consequences for bad behavior whe she's at his house. He can take actions to enforce the court order on bm (if they don't have one he should get one). Just talking to sd won't do anything. The problem isn't sd. It's your boyfriend. By thinking of himself as helpless and not parenting his kid, he's letting her think she calls the shots. If he doesn't try to parent her consistently while she's with him, he's as bad as bm.
You're getting a glimpse into what life will be like if you marry this guy. Marriage and kids won't solve the problem. Only your boyfriend can.