Hello all. I went searching the web today to see if there were any forums I could go to and maybe vent out some issues boiling and found this site! I feel better already just reading some posts. I really am thinking it might be time for me to seek out a professional to vent to but getting some advice from some people in similar situations sounds really therapeutic right now. Let me start by saying I am long winded and like to may sure my story gets told right so please bare with me. I promise to be entertaining.

Let me start out by saying that I just married my new husband on June 26th 2007. We met in March of 2006 and started dating shortly thereafter. From the start, his ex wife has been a thorn. She lives 4 hours away but when she found out he had a new girl over at the house, she had her friends egg my car and the house several times when I would be over visiting him. I know it was her friends because I caught them doing it one day and when I described them and the car they were in to my husband ( boyfriend at the time) he said he knew exactly who it was. Mind you, when I came into the picture, they had been seperated and divorce papers filed. They werent finaled yet because he agreed to stay married to her for insurance reasons until October of 2007 so she could finish Medical Assistant school. She had been living with her mom 4 hours away for months before he ever met me. I was also not the first person he dated since the split. Anywho, she called all the time and would even ask if he was dating but to keep her from agreeing to the divorce ( remember they have agreed to things but nothing was signed- we later found out what a mistake that was) he would tell her no. She would call telling him she loved him and tried to get him to let her come see him and even went so far as to tell him that he couldnt get their daughter for a visit unless he drove down and stayed the night with her. ( I witnessed a lot of these conversations saying nothing because I wasnt living with him so it wasnt that big a deal at the time to me). She literally would call just to talk to him about 5 days a week. And if he would call to talk to the little girl, she would say "Just a minute" then proceed to try to have lengthy conversations with him and only after, tell him the daughter wasnt even home.

Let me add that, the daughter in this story is hers...he adopted the child about 2 years into the marriage...3 weeks after the adoption was finalized...Mom bagged out, filed for child support, and then proceeded to come and go in and out of the marriage whenever she needed money or was sick of living with her family. He divorced her once and then took her back because he felt it was what was best for the child.

Then he asks me to move in about 4 mths into the relationship, and knowing that she was a little on the crazy side or so that was what it seemed at the time) I said yes but only if he put a stop to the chit chatting because I was not ok with that. ( Even though it was very one sided...every time she would call he would be on the other end going "uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh...is that all you called for cause I need to go". ) He said he would definately take care of it. The first time she called after I moved in, he tells her that she doesnt need to call anymore unless its an emergency...she tells him he is being stuck up and hangs up then keeps calling back the next day like he never told her to stop...he keeps telling her the same thing. I keep telling him he needs to take care of the problem like he promised but he tells me he is scared to make her upset because the divorce isnt finaled...well he was right...the whole thing led to a blow up...we had to threaten to call the police on her for harrassment because she got mad and stopped calling then went to e-mailing...then when he wouldnt respond to that she had the 10 yr old call and had the child ask things for Mom...We then told her we would call CPS if she kept that up....so she finally stopped for a while...until she found out about me...then she flipped out and cancelled the divorce agreement and needless to say, we are still paying off the attorney and he had to agree to pay her quite a bit to get rid of her...( I am still very very pi--ed about that because he agreed and signed off without telling me because he knew it would make me mad)....

Then I got pregnant. My pregnancy was filled with complications. Towards the end of the pregnancy his daughter came down. She had only been with us for about 2 weeks when the drama started. She would be really hyper in the house and break stuff and when my DH would correct her, she would tell us that her mom said we werent allowed to punish her...that he isnt her real dad...or she would cry and hyperventilate to the point of almost vomiting and a nose bleed to get attention....and she would NOT follow any rules that we gave her...on top of that she was behind my back telling my kids we werent her Dad's family that she was and her Daddy would give her whatever she wanted...at the house she would ask her Dad to buy her all kinds of expensive things and always got told no...when we would go shopping and my daughter would spend her earned money, my SD would try to talk her into buying her things and when my daughter said no, my SD would get mad and not talk to her...She told my kids she wanted to kill herself once when she had gotten in trouble by her Dad (she is 10 yrs old!!!)on top of all this...the EX was calling every single day and sometimes twice a day asking the kid what all was going on in our house to the point that my SD would go into the other room and hide to tell her everything...all this after the new baby had arrived. My hubby tried telling my SD to knock her behavior off. After she went back home, her Mom e-mails us and tells us we were mean to the kid when she was here and she wants to file to get visitation taken away....I am at the point where I wish we could get the adoption reversed...I know that is aweful and I pray to Jesus that he can take my anger away but I dont know how much more I can take...

To make matters worse, as part of the divorce, his ex is supposed to pay half of all travel costs within 10 days of us submitting her receipts and she has failed to pay a penny and says she wont. I know we can take her back to court but that costs money and quite frankly, after paying the debt she left him with and the attorneys fees and the bills, my DH has no extra money. I am the one that pays for her travel and would pay for more lawyer fees and I refuse to shell out money that I need to take care of my own stuff for that nonsense...my DH agrees that I shouldnt have to...so now we are at the point where until things change and his EX stops interfering, starts paying her travel fees, and stops being this horrible, we just wont see the child. My DH is in agreement on that too. At this point he cant even call the house to talk to the kid....her Mom listens on the phone and it makes his daughter uncomfortable (that is what she told my daughter while she was here- an explanation for why she never calls back or answers the phone when Dad calls to talk to her). I dont know what else to do other than what I have already done, which has been a lot. I am at my wits ends. I honestly hope we dont have to see her again and this all just goes away...my head hurts!! ADVICE???? I am thinking I may need to go and talk with someone to feel better...some days I dont even think about it and other days...like when a crappy e-mail arrives saying if we want her for Thanksgiving we are going to foot the bill...I get consumed by the whole deal!