I think my SD is a sociopath
Why else would a (very bright) 9 year old(she is 11 now) ask me, "which toothbrush is yours?" Of course I told her the color of her dad's toothbrush in case she was going to clean the toilet with it or something. That day, I went to the store and purchased a new make-up bag, combination lock, and of course, new toothbrushes. I also keep my contacts and solution, and all of my smaller toiletries locked up with it. Larger toiletries are locked up in a duffle bag in my nightstand. My husband and I kept our "toys" in a drawer in his nightstand and recently, we were looking for something, batteries for a remote control I think. He said, maybe there's some in that drawer" and SD goes in a voice that told on her, "w h a t d r a w e r"? We weren't even talking to her. I told my husband, OMG she has been snooping in our room. (Kids aren't allowed in there without permission, and then one of us is in there, too) He says no way would precious snoop in our room. I know better. The way she said what drawer sent chills down my spine. So, all that stuff is locked up, too, now. Our bedroom door locks, but a lot of good it does when my husband leaves last and forgets to lock it. Also, she tries to stage scenes to get my BD in trouble. She lies to save her butt and lies for no apparent reason. Her dad is totally in denial. I'm actually afraid of the kid. I REALLY pay attention to what she does in the kitchen.
She lies, she takes things
She lies, she takes things that aren't hers, she is two different people-she is a smart-mouthed witch for the hour and a half when she gets home from school till her dad gets home from work. She challenges adults-namely me, but also my sister. She brags about herself, but what she says are lies. Rules just don't apply to her. When she does or says something that she knows crosses the line with me, she rushes to her dad to give her side of the story. HE HAS ACTUALLY TAKEN HER WORD OVER MINE!!!!!! Basically called me a liar. It's like she derives pleasure from causing friction between me and her dad.
Just recently, after the
Just recently, after the "what drawer" incident I decided to buy a nanny cam. His kid is also a liar, and her dad just can't believe that, so he's about to find out who SD really is. I haven't bought it yet, but I have been looking at options. I'm not comfortable putting one in the bathroom (it's set up with too many mirrors and I don't want to see anyone's bare body) but there is one for my bedroom that is also a working alarm clock. I thought about stashing some mousetraps in my dresser drawers. Sadistic, I know. I also thought about setting up a trip line. Then I came to my senses and decided a camera would be better. I don't like the idea of prison
But before I got on the anti-depressants and especially the anti-anxiety meds, I was just about to topple right over the edge!!
I am more afraid of my SD
I am more afraid of my SD hurting my daughter than her hurting me. My daughter, who is 12 years old is 74 pounds. SD is 11 years old and 5'1 , 130 pounds. SD has a temper, too! and she is sooooo jealous of my daughter. My daughter looks like a miniature Barbie doll and she's sweet and funny and well liked. It is a real fear. And I am afraid that the older they get, the greater the threat. I have talked to my husband about the possibility that there could be something wrong with SD and he just wont hear it. His answer is "she makes straight A's" She did, until this year. That's kinda all she had and now that's gone too. SD has never hurt an animal or set anything on fire, but my eyes are open-looking for warning signs, but I feel like I already see them.
That's not all, when her 92
That's not all, when her 92 year old great-grandpa died and she came back to our house from the funeral with her older brother(also BM's kid), her brother was in tears, and she was trying to hide the grin she had from ear to ear until she walked past us. This is a grandpa she saw every other Wednesday and every other Sunday for practically her whole life! She's weird. She seems to have an inappropriate affect when bad things happen. Anything, especially if it happens to me or someone I love. She either has zero emotion or you can see the gleam in her eye. And calculating...OMG...she talks to herself in the shower. I brought her dad near to hear it. He said, "she's rehearsing." I asked for what and he said for conversations she's going to have.
Well, I KNOW SD is a
Well, I KNOW SD is a sociopath, borderline personality disorder, they were very reluctant to diagnose her at age 13 but it very quickly became 'emerging borderline personality disorder' and, yep, a total nightmare! I kept a folding toothbrush in my purse and I wet my toothbrush in the bathroom and let her think I'd used it. You gotta keep a step ahead of the little bastids!! I'd just chuckle to myself. DH was very much in denial, his only daughter, and she played on that. I disengaged unless it impacted me directly and then DH would 'do' something, like have a 'conversation' about it with SKids. It was a total nightmare, SD has a twin brother and they have an older brother to a different BM, I have no issues with older SS or his mom. Twins and their mom are all tarred with the same crazy brush!
Jellybean your situation
Jellybean your situation mirrors mine almost exactly except that my DH is aware that his daughter has a lot of issues. She has stolen jewelry clothes shoes food toyscell phones money gift vards camera toiletries just about everything she could carry. My DH didn't want to believe it at first however after we were married for about a year her tricks lies stealing and violence were witnessed by neighbors and she finally ws caught red handed after stealing a diamond bracelet from neighbors home in which she denied even after finding it in her dresser drawer. She has hurt our baby twice the first time DH didnt believe me. Unfortunately it happened again and he caught her doing it. SD is no longer allowed in our home. The BM will not agree to getting SD into therapy as she (BM) is the same as her daughter. sadly enough before my husband and I got serious and before I met his daughter he told me that no one liked his daughter and that she had some problems and I thought to myself how bad can a 9 year old be??? little did I know that she was so far gone and how it would become heartbreaking experience for all of us
Try connecting alone with
Try connecting alone with her. Make it your SD time alone- take her to lunch, talk about her life. She sounds like a bratty child, not sure a sociopath. Sociopaths can be retrained in early stages. I am one. I was given love and I go to that loving compassionate place when I am tempted to go the other way.