You are here

Wierd Weekend

Cover1W's picture

It was kind of odd.

We had a party, which was fun, but any kind of planning makes DH short-circuit a bit.

SD13 stayed in her room practically the entire weekend. DH said something to the effect of "I need to plan more things for her." I said that there's plenty for her to do if she chooses as well...SD11 keeps herself MORE than busy and he doesn't have to plan for her. He had the guilt going on for whatever reason.

SD11 unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen, including putting the dirty dishtowels in the laundry room, cleaned up SD13s moldy dishes in her room, loaded the dishwasher AND did her laundry on Friday. She was thanked! I couldn't believe it.

DH, going to bed last night, said something about the toothbrushes. Apparently he's checking to see if they are brushing their teeth. He asked me about it. I said I noticed it this summer that neither one was brushing (unusual for SD11) and told him then, but it was up to him to deal with it now.

SD13 is messing with the Thermostat still. I bought a wifi controlled one but the wiring isn't up to date enough to support it. So I'm returning it and will install a 7-day controllable (I have 5-2 right now) and the lock box will go over it. DH has no say in the matter since he still doesn't think it's an issue, but in his support he listened when I told him how long we're heating an entire house so that SD13 can sit in her room covered in blankets in one of the warmest rooms in the house in the first place.

DH got all aggravated because people weren't talking enough at dinner. He wants this special dinner banter at times; but doesn't take into account other people's moods. I was a little hung over, SDs were reticent as usual. I was actually in the middle of asking SD13 about something and he blew up about the lack of conversation. We've discussed this before that not every.single.dinner is going to be this grand exchange of ideas and philosophy and the SDs are freaking teenagers which is a whole different ball of wax AND sometimes I don't feel like talking much and he tends to say, "You're not even talking!" like it's my issue that I'm not an example. I laid into him last night in front of the SDs because I just thought he was crazy...

Comments

strugglingSM's picture

I supply toothbrushes, but don't check to see if they brush. They rarely brush, but somehow have no cavities. DH packed their toothbrushes for a weekend away and I have no idea where he put them when we returned, so gave each kid a new toothbrush. I don't tell them they should brush their teeth, because I'm done being the one who says "ok, now it's time to read." "Did you brush your teeth?" "Don't forget X, Y, or Z!" The one thing I will do, is ask the one who wets the bed if he's gone to the bathroom before bed. He's old enough to do this on his own, but I will still remind him, even though I'm supposed to pretend that I don't notice, if he wets the bed. This week, I did say to everyone, "be sure to pick up all your stuff before you leave." Then as soon as they were gone, walked into the tv room and there on top of the stack of board games was a piece of football gear. It had no reason to be up there, but again, both kids are in middle school, certainly old enough to check in their gear bag and see if they have everything and then look around if they don't have it. It's not a mandatory piece of gear. It's a totally unnecessary "handwarmer" that BM must have purchased for him. It does not get cold enough out here to warrant a handwarmer and he wears gloves during the game. I grew up in a much colder climate and we were only allowed to wear our uniforms for sports games - no long pants or long shirts, no gloves, no handwarmers. Just another piece of "gear" for BM to claim she paid for all on her own and for SS to leave at our house.

Sounds like your DH is a bit like mine and likes to orchestrate "happy family time". I have a tendency to try to go along with him sometimes to keep him happy, but have started to put my foot down on occasion. This weekend, I went on a "family" outing to get pumpkins, even though I told him that I didn't want to go, and then afterwards - when he said "you didn't even want to go and it was fine." - I reminded him that I went as a favor to him and he shouldn't forget that.

Cover1W's picture

Years ago I tried to get a bed-time routine going (he had none at all). Bath, PJs, brush teeth, bed. SD13 (then around 9-10) would get into hysterics and yelled/screamed about having to brush her teeth. The last time I said anything, DH said in front of the SDs, "Who really cares if they brush their teeth, it doesn't matter!" I replied that dental bills in the future are a big reason along with good teeth. He didn't do anything so I stopped. I know what they do but I never, ever point stuff out. Unless it is something that effects me, like the thermostat.

SD11 does get cavities - she was a good toothbrusher, 2x per day until recently. She was also using a mouth rinse, but that bottle is still not empty after 6 months.
SD13 has no cavities, but the dentist is afraid her teeth are all just starting to rot. She has bleeding gums and complains of pain when she eats "hard food."

Not. My. Issue.

What did you do with the gear? Throw it in a closet? In the trash?

strugglingSM's picture

The "handwarmer" is sitting where it was left, on top of some board games that we never use. I think both SSs were playing with in our tv room for some reason and of course, once they stopped playing with it, totally forgot about it. There are only two football games left in the season and it really won't be cold enough to need it (it's never really cold enough to need it). Knowing SS, he won't even realize he left it at our house.

Cover1W's picture

I suppose I'd leave it there unless it was in my way or out and bothering me.
Sometimes I'm nice and throw things in their room.

strugglingSM's picture

If it's still sitting there before their next visit, I'll probably put it on his bed. I sometimes leave things out for a bit to see if DH will pick them up (since he's told me he doesn't expect me to pick the kids things up). He rarely does and I'm over being mad about it.

Acratopotes's picture

DH - commenting he needs to plan for his daughter will get me to load off on him.... saying you have 2 effing daughters not only one, why can one daughter keep herself busy and help me and the other one sits in her room acting like a princess, I think you better get her to keep herself busy and do her chores...

when will you have the lock thing for the thermostat, every time I read about it I get upset, the disrespect from DH is very clear and SD13 is practicing it, DH will pay the full electrical bill

Cover1W's picture

Yeah, but I cannot comment on SD13 at all can I? You know that! }:)
All I did said was, well, SD11 sure keeps herself busy doesn't she?

Thermo...I watched that sucker like a hawk on Sunday so no one touched it.
Plus, it was a warmer day overall.

I ended up having to return the wifi one, there's one coming to us on Thursday so I'll have that installed this coming weekend. At that time, the lock will be on it.

I've already planned the current thermo setting for Wed/Thurs when SDs will be with us, until I can get the new one installed, and think (maybe, maybe) it'll be ok. In any case, DH is going to pay for the difference between last years bill and this years bill for the same period. Maybe that will make him think about it.

Acratopotes's picture

Cover - what if the little snot played with it last yea as well?

I would take a normal month to compare it with.... and he will pay that diff. Isn't there a way you can find out how much electricity is used on this reading and how much on the high reading and simply calculate the diff then?

Cover1W's picture

Nope, she didn't last year!
I watch it closely and she paid no mind to it.

It's pretty easy to calculate the difference, yes. That's what I'm planning on doing. Thank goodness it's only been 1.5 weeks.