Is it just me???
Forums:
I'm curious what you guys think about this issue..... My DH takes pictures of various things ss4 does and emails them to BM without telling me. Yes I check his phone wrong I know but at least I'm honest. Anyway, I have been very very clear that given all the shit she has put him, me and ss through that the only communication I feel ok with is basics regarding ss. Yet yesterday with me in the other room he once again took a pic and sent to her. Today he was speaking to MIL after we had huge falling out and said he hadn't but he had. I have a huge thing about honesty and trust but don't know if I'm being a little unresonable on these issues. Need your thoughts
BM used to send pictures and
BM used to send pictures and vice versa and it will irritate me. They both have their own time with SS sooo why send pictures? I told him if you are going to send pictures to anyone, send them to me! I sometimes miss the cute moments and yet he wants to share them with her and not his wife? I would be upset if I were you
That's EXACTLY how i feel!
That's EXACTLY how i feel! and i've told him that word for word. Like at Christmas when we opened our gifts she sent him pics of ss at her house. It really pisses me off that they exchange things that happen during our private time or when she has him. It's supposed to be our family now and our time together not theirs anymore. What should I do? I can't confront him then he'll know I looked in his phone but it really hurts.
Sometimes, it is easier for
Sometimes, it is easier for me to communicate with the BF by using an article that is similar to our situation and saying, "you know, sometimes, I feel the same way." It opens up the subject without putting the other person on the spot.
That is so irritating.
That is so irritating. Fortunately, now that sd has her own phone, it is not such an issue. Now, it's the sd constantly calling her mother to find out insignificant things like "What was the dish you made the other night that I loved and will you tell Daddy how to make it?" It is almost as if the sd is setting up some kind of contest between her parents.
Let it go. There's no way to
Let it go. There's no way to avoid looking petty and insecure in this. There's nothing with sharing pictures/videos.
I know it's annoying, but try
I know it's annoying, but try to let it go as much as possible. Maybe DH could agree to send photos once a week or something so it doesn't feel as much like he's including BM in your daily life. But really, keep the big picture in mind. The kid will be in school before long and that should drastically cut down on the photo sharing.
Thank you guys for all the
Thank you guys for all the input. I decided to let it go as many of you advised. After all DH and I don't have nor prob will ever have a child of our own so that will always make me just the sm. Who am I to decide or complain about DH and BM trading pictures and texts of times when they are apart with ss. I guess it'll always be a bond they will share while I'm the outsider. I guess I thought we'd have our own bond she wasn't apart of and she'd have her own we aren't. I guess a parents bond is more than that to some, just not mine. My ex and I do not do this but that's our choice I guess. I decided I shoulb probably be content being oblivious to these things as only I am getting hurt by them.
Harley, sorry to read this.
Harley, sorry to read this. You're not an outsider. He's out of line, no boundaries!
My ex and I take our own pics of the kids...sometimes my ex will show me pics on his phone at dropoff/pickup time...but he doesn't send them to me on my phone. I once did ask him to send me some pics of the boys he took at the beach w/them because they were great...one time thing. You have each your own memories/moments/photos w/the kids.
Parents are still acting like they aren't divorced.
My BM recently sent a picture
My BM recently sent a picture of HER baby with their GRANDbaby to my H.
We have a No Contact unless Emergency clause in the CO that she violated by sending this to him.
Besides that, we haven't been "allowed" to see the grandbaby (baby of his underage teen daughter) since last FATHER'S DAY!
I said to H, "I should contact BM's H and say 'Why the hell is YOUR wife sending pictures of YOUR kid to MY husband?!?!?'"
He got where I was coming from.
I don't send photos of the
I don't send photos of the kids on Christmas or anything else but if I take my two boys out for lunch and take a cute pic of them on my phone I send it to their dad, not to make him wish he were with us or *look what you missed* but because I think he'd like to see his kids happy and enjoying ...well..whatever it is we are doing..
My fiance' has not a issue with it. as I said though I don't do it all the time and not on the memories we are making together but if I get a good shot, I share. They are cute and I'll show friggin strangers pics LOL I'm a proud mom! LOL
I understad both sides. I
I understad both sides. I miss my ds when he's gone but I like to hear from him his stories. If it was a rare occasion or something special I probably wouldn't care as much. My thing is she contacts about everything so I feel when he sends her pics it encourages her. Ex: we had ss this Sat. he had birthday party to go to (which he didn't) she didn't know he didn't and text and called to see if he had fun! my thought and again I'm just sm but why couldn't she A- ask to speak to him herself and ask him or B- wait until he came home to ask. Why have to talk to DH about it. Another ex: I got tickets for us to take younger boys to circus- she found out later and was PISSED we didn't tell her or send pics and left her out! Sorry that was our memory and our time why did't she take him too if it meant so much?
Anyway sorry to be so negative I just get so sad sometimes about all this blended family stuff.
sometimes I get sad too
sometimes I get sad too Harleygirl. My sadness is due to the small issues that blow up with my fiance' and I over the kids, not seeing eye to eye on some parenting issues, this is the only time I am like, I DO NOT LOVE OR MISS my ex at all but boy was it easier when we were together! lol