my bio son is a bully to my step-son
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My 10 year old has known his step bro most of his life, with 2 years in this setting as a family. Have SS 50% of time. He is 11 and smaller. My son is starting to bully with control and name calling. He will sometimes choose to exclude him from activities with other friends and can be an outright punk. He thinks his step bro gets away with everything, which he doesn't. It can be pure bliss or pure hell between the 2 and I feel It's mostly my son instigating. How do you fix/reprimand so further angst towards the other is diverted?
I second newwife3, he needs
I second newwife3, he needs some proper pinishment, I was bullied at school and it made me want to die, this little chap is being bullied in his own home, where he's supposed to be safe, I understand this must be upsetting for you, it just needs to be sorted out asap. I would take away all priviledges, money, tv and trips out, as the bullying stops, start giving the priviledges back.
If he won't allow SS to
If he won't allow SS to participate with friends, then he can't have friends over. He should not ALWAYS have to include SS, but he needs to learn to set that boundary without being mean. Name calling = immediate loss of priviledge. Name calling is not allowed in my home. My dh and I don't do it and we don't allow children in our home (any children, I don't give a rat's ass who birthed them) to do so. Consistency is key.
Could this be resentment
Could this be resentment showing because of the way your SO treats his bio son compared to your son? If they have basically grown up with each other when they were younger was he given too much responsibility for his SBrother? Personally if they do not get along that is fine. They do not have to have the same friends, or skate board together, they do have to however respect each other. Do not force him to be "best buds" but correct the rude behavior and let him know that it is not okay. Dont force him to play video games, or hang out with his SBrother, that will only case things to get worse.
That is an excellent point. I
That is an excellent point. I have seen it myself. The skid takes it out on the kids when the "dad" treats them differently.
I am worried about who
I am worried about who bullies your bio son to make him act like this to start.
On the other hand, my brother acted like this at times too and we are now best of friends. I would sit them down together-ALWAYS together- and lovingly try to mediate and help them work through their differences.
My bottom line in parenting as in life: I cannot control my environment, but I can control how I react to it (and walk the kids through your coping steps at the same time because it will raise them stronger).
Make them watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid Rodrick Rules while holding hands the whole time haha-that'll teach them!