I think it's normal, atleast I hope-cuz I am the same way with my 11 yr old twin sds. I've been in their life since they were 7 and things were fine until the BM realized that my hubby wasn't going to just wait around like a lost puppy while she decided if the grass was greener with the guy she kicked him out to be with. He ended up proposing to her and she went on a selfish desperate quest of trying to get my DH back, and started using the kids to do so. IT was pathetic. She ended up marrying the guy and is still with him. My DH and I married later that same year. Ever since, she's tried everything to turn those kids against me. I try and be the bigger person and realize that it's her coming through their words and actions and that they're innocent. But, it's hard and now that they are older, they can think for themselves. They've been brainwashed so long though. So...as a result of all her charades, she's tried to hurt DH and I, but all she's hurt is her own children. Why? B/c I can't stand them anymore and don't want them around either. I just gave birth to our son 2 months ago. WHile pregnant, both girls threatened to kill the baby. One said she'd do it while everyone was asleep. THe other just stated she wished the baby would go kuput. Since his arrival, one of them has accepted him and is somewhat doting. Mind you I don't leave them alone with the baby and I told their counselor about it when it happened. I also have a video monitor. I figured they didn't really mean those threats, that it was again as a result of thier mother (who tells them he's not really their brother). Anyways, one of them is super jealous now and has displayed some terrible behaviors towards me (writing me nasty notes, writing with pen on the new bed I bought her that she loves her mommy, and the latest-stealing a book off my bookshelf entitled "Ex-wives/Ex-Lives" where I had written personal notes). So...I'd like to tell you it'd get better, but I doubt it. I don't know how manipulative your BM is and how much influence she has on your SS, but kudos to you for getting your DH to agree not to let him back into your home. I told mine that how can anyone expect me to have a relationship with these girls when I have to watch what I say (or it gets reported to BM and a fight ensues), watch what I do (I'm not allowed to discipline in BM's eyes, yet I'm expected to provide everything else for them), and now watch my possessions?!?! Really? Oh-on top of those things, they have this 12 yr old boy friend that my DH hates bc the boy is trouble. He's told them to stay away from him, but yet we get phone calls from the boys cell while they're on the bus to and from school. I think the boy is trying to act big & bad in front of them and act like he's gonna tell thier Dad off..I also think the girls want to talk to me since they have some privacy. (BM monitors their phone calls). I texted BM this morning to let her know it was still happening (bc she doesn't like the boy either and has went to the principal of their school to complain about thet things the boy says to the girls)...and she texted my hubby to tell him that if I didn't quit texting her she'd get me for harassment. I've offered to go to one-on-one counseling with her, have lunch with her...she's against it. She is so jealous and afraid that the girls will like our home better (she lives in a trailerpark and doesn't work, we both work for the govt and live nicely)and thinks I'm the reason she can't be with my DH again. NO-it's because she's a whore. The girls want to like me, but they feel disloyal to BM I think;. I can only pray for the day they realize for themselves how things really are. THey will be independent adult thinkers far longer than they are easily manipulated and brainwashed children. Anyways, this has turned into me venting instead of helping you I think! Bottom line, don't feel guilty for what you feel towards your ss....it's not your fault! Be happy to have the support of your DH. Good luck!