hit the go button too soon, not sure how to delete original...
Do you ever find yourself comparing your SD to DD? I do constantly. They are 14 mos apart. DD is 14, SD is 12... going on 20. SD is so precocious, and tries to act / look/ talk so much older it's embarrassing. People always guess her to be the older teenage sister of my DD, who is smaller, but also much more modest / reserved. DH doesn't see it at all. I get filled with anxiety when we are with other people because of her behavior and how she puts on the "YouTube star" voice affectation. She has to be the center of attention and will loudly overreact or be dramatic for no reason to get some. She flips her hair, walks with her butt sticking out, and overdoes the eye makeup her parents allow her to wear. She also calls my DD a tomboy, because she isn't interested in the same things. It sucks all the air out of the room.
SD is an attention hog, inconsiderate and self centered. She also pretends to be mature and inserts herself in adult conversations. I find her super annoying and can only take her in small doses.
I do it all the time, and I shouldn't. SD18 and DD 18 are 3 months apart. DH and I have been married since they were 6 years old. I've known SD since she was 4. The girls are very different. DD is a social butterfly, while SD only has a couple of friends. SD made excellent grades in school, while DD was more of a worker. SD has the most potential of all of our kids/skids to go to college. (BM will pay for it). However, SD doesn't want to do anything. She will only work 2 days a week, says she needs to take a year between high school and college to "find herself." (this basically means she will be locked in her room working on her ARRRRTTTTTT (Art - drawn out and snobbily said). She won't wear makeup because she "doesn't want to be like everyone else." She will wear long sleeves in the summer, I guess, for the same reason. When I suggest that she change into something more weather appropriate, she tells everyone that I'm trying to change her into someone she's not. She just got her driving permit a week ago, and that was a fight in itself. DH had to finally insist that she get it. Her mother bought her a used Mustang convertible, and it's sitting in BM's garage until SD decides to learn how to drive. My feeling, she will end up living with her mom and refuse to grow up. If she lives with us, she will have to get a full time job, and she can't do that because then she won't have time to sit in her room working on her ARRRRTTTT.
DD loves doing her makeup and fixing her hair, she's very social, and has a steady boyfriend that DH and I really like. She may not be college material, but she has a plan. She works 3 days a week at McDonald's and 2 days a week as a receptionist at the office I work at. She wants to learn on the job and do what I do (legal assistant). I know several attorneys that would hire someone green and train them. She just recently bought a used car, and is planning to get an apartment with her boyfriend in a year (2 at the most). 21 is our fly-the-nest deadline. Rules are that they MUST work full or almost full time to save for their future or be enrolled in college in order to live in our house. DH said he will give SD the summer but that's it. If she's not working full time by the end of August, she will have to go live with BM.
Comparing SD to DD
hit the go button too soon, not sure how to delete original...
Do you ever find yourself comparing your SD to DD? I do constantly. They are 14 mos apart. DD is 14, SD is 12... going on 20. SD is so precocious, and tries to act / look/ talk so much older it's embarrassing. People always guess her to be the older teenage sister of my DD, who is smaller, but also much more modest / reserved. DH doesn't see it at all. I get filled with anxiety when we are with other people because of her behavior and how she puts on the "YouTube star" voice affectation. She has to be the center of attention and will loudly overreact or be dramatic for no reason to get some. She flips her hair, walks with her butt sticking out, and overdoes the eye makeup her parents allow her to wear. She also calls my DD a tomboy, because she isn't interested in the same things. It sucks all the air out of the room.
SD is an attention hog,
SD is an attention hog, inconsiderate and self centered. She also pretends to be mature and inserts herself in adult conversations. I find her super annoying and can only take her in small doses.
I do it all the time, and I
I do it all the time, and I shouldn't. SD18 and DD 18 are 3 months apart. DH and I have been married since they were 6 years old. I've known SD since she was 4. The girls are very different. DD is a social butterfly, while SD only has a couple of friends. SD made excellent grades in school, while DD was more of a worker. SD has the most potential of all of our kids/skids to go to college. (BM will pay for it). However, SD doesn't want to do anything. She will only work 2 days a week, says she needs to take a year between high school and college to "find herself." (this basically means she will be locked in her room working on her ARRRRTTTTTT (Art - drawn out and snobbily said). She won't wear makeup because she "doesn't want to be like everyone else." She will wear long sleeves in the summer, I guess, for the same reason. When I suggest that she change into something more weather appropriate, she tells everyone that I'm trying to change her into someone she's not. She just got her driving permit a week ago, and that was a fight in itself. DH had to finally insist that she get it. Her mother bought her a used Mustang convertible, and it's sitting in BM's garage until SD decides to learn how to drive. My feeling, she will end up living with her mom and refuse to grow up. If she lives with us, she will have to get a full time job, and she can't do that because then she won't have time to sit in her room working on her ARRRRTTTT.
DD loves doing her makeup and fixing her hair, she's very social, and has a steady boyfriend that DH and I really like. She may not be college material, but she has a plan. She works 3 days a week at McDonald's and 2 days a week as a receptionist at the office I work at. She wants to learn on the job and do what I do (legal assistant). I know several attorneys that would hire someone green and train them. She just recently bought a used car, and is planning to get an apartment with her boyfriend in a year (2 at the most). 21 is our fly-the-nest deadline. Rules are that they MUST work full or almost full time to save for their future or be enrolled in college in order to live in our house. DH said he will give SD the summer but that's it. If she's not working full time by the end of August, she will have to go live with BM.