Thank You both for ur responses. I NEED HELP!!!!!
I talked to my hubby and told him if he will not enforce the rules that we have set for all kids then he will have to make alternative plans. SKid cant live w/ him mom due to he was legally removed by CPS and placed in our home. Dont get me wrong I feel for the kid but its where SKID knows how to manipulate certain situations where he gets his dad to say "hes been through alot". SKID unfortunately has "learned behavior" thanx to his mother! He's 8 yes but really knows how to "work" his dad. Now OUR bio daughter has been diagnosed w/ a rare bone disease since she was 8 yrs old. She's now 14 and has 2 surgery per year to help eleviate the pain (theres no cure)But I or our daughter EVER say "She or I have been through alot too". I can tell SKID to do his chores like "wash his OWN dish" he'll say " Ugggggg my mom used to hit me w/ a spoon" and "NOW I have to wash my dish" or He'll EXPECT me to get his shower ready (I taught him how to get it ready) then when hubby gets home his dad will say "hey its time for your shower" then the SKID will say "well u gonna get it ready?" I step in and say " Ur dad will NOT get it ready cause U already know how, you do it DAILY when he's not here" Hubby will look at me :? w/ a confused look :jawdrop: and say "He knows HOW" I say "YES he does,he's been making u look like a dumbass all this time cause he's knows how to do it here, at his gma's & his moms" Or If I say "you've had ur snack now time for Homework" his response " I never had to do HW at **** house". He calls his mom by her first name and not mom (his choice). So my response to him is "Tell me again why u were placed w/ us & u dont live w/ ur mom?" Then he'll tell hubby " Dad, I was having a bad day and mom still wanted me to do chores and hw". MANIPULATION I TELL YA! I ADMIT When his dad is gone and I've told my husband I am not getting his clothes, getting his shower ready, making his bed, cleaning his room, getting his drink etc. He can do all of that himself cause he's 8 yrs old not a toddler and he's taller than an average 8 yr old. I've told hubby and it may have been mean but it's how I felt.. I said "ever since SKID came to live here this house has no order, we argue alot, he's mean to everyone, and i cant stand it anymore".. Felt great to say what i felt. Also, hubby and I have not been on any dates, we dont EVER get time ALONE & I am NOT exaggerating, I mean NO TIME! My hubby is never home Just on Fri or sat.. (one day off only)and when he is home Their both so far up each others A&&es that theres no room for any1 else. I mean from 7a till that kid goes to sleep (10p or 11p) LITERALLY!! Then hubby wants my time, I say I dont have time to be second choice, i am not sloppy seconds, and I will NOT accept time with you all because ur kid is NOW asleep!! Am I wrong?? OUR BIO daughter even quit trying to spend time w/ her dad so she goes and spends the night w/ her friends and hubby says "She's always gone when I'm here" I say "why should she be home its not like u pay attention to anyone else, I'm not gonna have her stay home & watch u spend time w/ ur son" Ahhhh I am on my wits end SERIOUSLY...

All I know is that I told him today, You do what u wish w/ ur son, Dont count on me for anything. For now, I am going to continue to raise my 2 girls as i always have been. Obviously I'm doing somethng right. My son graduate w/ Honors and is now VERY SUCCESSFUL in the Navy. My son wasnt one bit surprised as to how ironing is done, or how his bed is made etc. My son actually thanked me for showing him all those things cause during basic training he had NO PROBLEM! So I will sit back and see how His Son turns out lol... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!