Now I'm with a husband and his stepdaughter. He admitted he let her be "the wife" meaning he guilt parented and never could say no. Then he let her do whatever. Since we been together, she has improved much and so has he. He has been really good in listening to my concerns EXCEPT when it comes to the overaffection with his daughter and telling her my intimate concerns. He talks about how talking about your feeling for a man is weak but then blabs all his feelings to his ten year old. Well he told my feelings to her and I found out when she got mad at me, because she would bring up what I said to him in confidence. He says he stopped but i think he is lying because his D (daughter) says she is worried about everything. I think because he talks to her about his issues. He said he wanted her to be a part of the family. I said that is not how. She doesn't have to know EVERYTHing.  OVERAFFECTION. He did stop in front of me, but i suspect he is doing it behind my back. I said no letting her sit in your lap, no sleeping with her, no kissing on the lips, no long embraces, snuggling because she has tits for Gods sake. She is going through puberty EARLY, yes at 10. I said touch feels different and you need to set boundaries so she knows how to set them with men. He was pissed and stopped ...he says but I heard her say, i agree we dont have to stop. Then one time i was coming up the stairs and he said ..is she coming. His D said yes and she ran into the room and shut the door. I asked about it and he refuses to say what it is. I suspect the hugging, kissing, rubbing. It makes me angry and I think because  I dont get that much affection. All i get is bend over. Two, why would i want to kiss him if he is kissing her daily, regularly in the mouth. You have to understand this was everyday in the morning, evenings every chance they get. She will every now and again do some weird touch with him and he sees my face and will move away. Look, I understand a kiss on forehead, a hug, an embrace when appropriate like she happy or sad or a just because sometimes but this is way to much. I have talked till I'm blue in the face, I talked to her about inappropriate touch out of a book that says adults have to calm their affection down but they dont listen. So the overaffection and telling all my business he will NOT stop apparently. He won't reason. He says one day she wont let me do it so i want to get it in. Ok, i get that, but it's too much, I'm uncomfortable and he doesnt care. She is getting therapy because the school forced him because she will just decide not to do her work or cooperate and they said something is wrong. I'm hoping the therapist can help her. I do not suspect SA. I think it's not setting those boundaries is not helping her emotionally. I got married to have an intimate partner through connection and affection but that is going to his D. I feel like all i can do is play with her, do her hair, clean the house and bend over at night. He says I'm more than that, but it don't feel like it. I'm trying to see how I an cope with this. I guess i can be happy i can talk to my friends, family. As far as affection, I guess I will always feel like the side chick to her. She said  she is the first wife.. He didnt disagree. Annoyed.