To the point where I can't stand to be around them
I'm at the point where I don't want to go home after work.. I'm exhausted just thinking about being around them - the SS's..
They take over the house, nothing is ever enough.. can I have this? Can I have that? I'm bored.. Can we go see a movie? I don't want to go to bed at 10 - I want to stay up till 11... their shit everywhere. Their messes.. how freaking loud they always have to talk.. how loud they have to do everything.. walk, close doors..
Now, we have them full time.. full time and their mom pays nothing towards their expenses and what she is ordered to pay in CS is absurd.
So now I am stuck with these ungrateful brats full time and am broke because of it as well.. lucky me.
I want them to leave.. go live with BM, but she doesn't want them either.. this sucks.
I have no desire to even try to be anything to these kids.. I simply don't care. They have made it abundantly clear that I'm nothing to them and they would prefer me to not be in their lives.. oh, but when they need something, it's ok to ask..
Just have to vent.. shutting down and starting to resent DH.. not fair to him, but it's not fair to me either..
Spending more and more time hiding in my bedroom or finding reasons to run errands when they are around..
Being a step mom truly sucks.. you have no power over your life or you home. You are just there to fill in a need - a space, an open position. It's a thankless soul robbing existence that robs you of your dignity and your sanity.
This says it all some
This says it all some days:
"Being a step mom truly sucks.. you have no power over your life or you home. You are just there to fill in a need - a space, an open position. It's a thankless soul robbing existence that robs you of your dignity and your sanity."
I have taken refuse in my kindle - I love to read, had not been reading for a number of years as life took over. I sit outside, and read - I am outside the house, no noise and often out of sight out of mind to the skids and even DH at times. Demands, questions, requests all go to DH. Its peaceful. Its helped me a lot putting some space and taking back some of my sanity - don't know if its an option for you or not.
I do this as well - just not
I do this as well - just not outside (it's hot and not enough shade unfortunately).. I go up to my bedroom - which is ok, but it kind of pisses me off.. This isn't the skid's house.. it's mine too!!
The skid's literally take over the freaking house and they are just so lazy - if they aren't on the PS3, they are in front of the TV - watching it while playing a game on their ipads! I'm like WTF?
I would love to just sit on the couch and read on my kindle or watch a show on TV - no, they have to be in your space all the time. DH and I can't ever lie on the couch and watch a show - or even just talk.. or relax.
I come home from work, and maybe my expectation is wrong, but I think they should defer the TV to the grown ups - the one in the great room... they can go in the other TV room and watch all the crap they DVR'd.. I want to listen to the news while I decompress and make dinner - Is that too much to ask for?
I hear you. We have 2 'living
I hear you. We have 2 'living rooms' if you will, we call them living room and play room, I moved the WII to the playroom. I don't know why the skids have to be front and center. Its upbringing, my 2 bios live in their rooms, play in their rooms, read in their rooms.
Skids avoid being in their rooms. SD13 is always in BD13's room otherwise she is in the living room. SS8 is front and center, must always have DH in sight - he doesn't set foot in his bedroom unless its to sleep - if he plays with something other than a video game - its spread in the middle of the living room - he never ever plays in his room or does anything in there - all kids have equally large, fully furnished very nice rooms - I made sure when we bought the house because that is their personal space but nope - not the skids, they have to be front and center and otherwise never enter their rooms. I don't understand that at all.
The playroom, its painted lovely for kids, big screen TV, WII, books, games, sofa, DVD player - they avoid it like the plague. Must be front and center in the main living room. So wrong in my opinion.
Growing up, my brother and I were to use the basement rec room for our playing\TV\Games etc. The main living room was for family time only and\or my parents. My parents owned that room, they controlled what was on the TV or if the TV was on - we wanted to watch something else - to the basement rec area.
It drives me mad, and I hear you - that is why I go outside under the covered patio with a beer or a glass of wine or a coffee and read in silence. Perhaps I should take over the playroom.
"Perhaps I should take over
"Perhaps I should take over the playroom." Yes! DO IT! Paint it the way YOU want, decorate it the way YOU want! Hang a sign, "Do NOT disturb, unless you are bleeding profusely or on fire. In either case, you better have called 911 BEFORE telling me."
Can you tell I'm a smartass?
Yep, that pretty much sums it
Yep, that pretty much sums it up. I'm sure all kids (especially teens)are that way (as my DH likes to remind me), but other people's kids are especially annoying.
Just spent 9 days straight with the SD's (aka entitled princesses), and am sure happy to be back to work. I could have written this blog word for word, except for the part about having them full time. Man, if that ever happens.....omg....I can't even comprehend that!
ss16 monopolizes the living
ss16 monopolizes the living room on weekends. I've finally started kicking him out. I say I need to decompress. My living room too.
Yes, being a step mom sucks.
Yes, being a step mom sucks. Do not loose your dignity and sanity over children you did not bring into this world.
Then change something. Hell will freeze over before I don't have control in my home. Granted I don't like it when the skids come. But I still have control over my home. They are good skids, I have it easy but I don't want to be around them either. They are not mine.
DH knows I will make everyone's life a living hell if I am unhappy. It is time for you to take back your home and your life. You have to be willing to loose your DH in the process if it doesn't go your way.
If my DH gets the skids full time I will divorce him. I did not sign up to be a full time step parent. He knows this fact to be true. It sounds harsh but I raised my child I am go live a "child" life again.
I don't know how old they are but a new sheriff would be in town. Tell you DH you are done with the disrespect and the mess. These are going to be the new rules and it is his job to enforce them. You also will be backing them up.
Start with the mess. Sit them down as of today, if you do not pick up your own things I am going to _____________. Your dad supports this and there will be no exceptions. We are tired of living in a messy house and it is time for everyone to be responsible for their things.
My boss put plastic on the mattresses at his house. If his kids left a mess he picked it all up, trash, plate, soda can, computer, what ever and dump it all in the middle of his kids bed. They had to wash their own sheets before they went to bed and pick up the mess. Sounds harsh but it only took about 3 times per kid and it is now not an issue.
I broke my biod of not picking up after herself when I would pick up her things put it in a trash bag with a date on it and put it in the garage. After 30 days she could have it back. In a technology generation. I can tell you this would be painful for many a child.
Also do something for you. Join a girls group, a gym, what ever makes you happy. Make sure you are making time for you.
I have it easy and I know it. DH is a great dad and makes the skids follow the rules. He knows that for his children to be productive adults they need to be respectful, responsible children.
I am not judging you, I can't imagine what it would be like if Crazo dropped the skids off at our door. I want you to see there can be a way out of what you currently living with.
My ss is well behaved for the
My ss is well behaved for the most part and I still can't stand to be around him. He's weird. Sometimes he walks in the room and says hi dad, like I'm not there. He's always lurking and peaking around corners..I joke with my friends that he will probably be standing over my bed like Kathy Bates in Misery someday lol. My kids actually like him but tell me they think he's weird too. ( i try to hide my negative feelings) Every time he takes a bite of food he scrapes the fork across his teeth and everyone cringes... I can't even eat around him. We keep trying to get him to work on his manners. He's always picking his nose and if I ask him to not do that (or correct him in any way for that matter)he just stares at me with his eyes squinted. If it werent for the fact that it would break my SO's heart, i couldnt care less if he ever came over again. Our personalities just do not mesh hard as I USE TO try..
Not everyone is going to
Not everyone is going to agree with what I have to say however, something needs to be said.
If they don't respect you or like you and you pay the bills? Tell your husband and tell your skids that they need to pay for everything on their own and you're getting a separate bank account. Tell them that they're so fortunate for having someone put up with their BS day in and day out because their BM doesn't want to take care of them.
If you have to parent the skids because the husband won't, you tell them what is what. It makes me hotter than H*ll to see these unruly demons run rampant over people who only try their best to help them. I guarantee you, if you give them the ultimatum, give to the husband too..and tell him to grow some b*lls when it comes to his kids. If you have to discipline them, you tell him, it's NOT going to be pretty.