Skid and bio kid not getting along...causing major problems! Help!!!
So, I have a bio 16yr old son. He has had a very hard life growing up...seen alot of death and his bio father was only around long enough to show him how NOT to act. My SO has a bio 17yr old daughter. My son and his daughter can't seem to get along at all. They did when she first moved in with us in December, but it just keeps getting worse. They each have their own dogs and will fight over them constantly. You let my dog out well you let mine out earlier. Blah blah blah. They have chores and allowance and they tattle on each other constantly like they are two over who did or didn't do what they are suppose to do. She will run to daddy if my son does something and my son comes to me. We have told them that it has to stop. They have to figure out a way to get along and treat each other respectfully whether they like each other or not. It is starting to come between my SO and I. His dtr will constantly threaten to move back in with her mom which then makes him say no..he would have us leave before her. Mind you, she will be 18 in August. I constantly say we can't keep pointing out whos kid did or didnt do what. Thats what the kids are doing. We need to be a united front and put consequences out for them. You can't treat each other with respect and mind your own business from now on you lose your allowance, then your phones. He doesnt think we should do that. And of course, hes always jumping to her defense and pointing out my sons flaws. I just say they are equally responsible for their bickering and they both do things wrong and slack on chores and should both be punished for it cause these days...talk is cheap..its all about the follow up. Am I wrong? what do i do to make this ok so I can stay with the man I love?
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... no..he
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
no..he would have us leave before her
That is not good; at all!! Now that she KNOWS that - it was over before it already started. That is a very hard comment to get back.
My DH was starting to make comments like that - until I pulled him aside and told him that he has no idea how hard things would be w/o me and that he had a big surprise if he continued to disrespect me like that in front of the children.
This must've been a reality check for him because he NEVER says things like that and has actually made it clear to our SD14 that what I SAY GOES.
A united front; once they see they can't make you 2 fight; they will stop. It is as simple as that; they are like babies.
good luck
Tell them from now on they
Tell them from now on they will be grounded if they tattle on each other. My bios are awesome about not tattling they are 13,11, 9 and they know unless they are truly injured no tattling is allowed. It's not their business if so and so did their chore and if they are arguing about items (which imo would include pets)then they better work it out or get rid of the items (the dogs). It's sort of sad to ground kids of this age for tattling, but when they get that not only do you not CARE what they are tattling about but that you will also be mad at THEM for doing the tattling they will stop. I've been teaching my kids this since they were little.
My ss missed the memo. He is horrible about tattling. He likes to start stuff with the other kids, push their buttons and then they finally respond (with words) then he will run to his daddy and tattle about how mean they are. He will leave out how he pushed them, took their things, and called them names first. It took dh awhile before he could conceptualize that his child was not the victim-but he finally got it and now simply asks ss, "what did you do first" or he absolutely just ignores him as if he didnt speak.