My DH and got married almost a year ago.... there have been lots of fights over the same things over and over again. He thinks and feels that I am the one that starts the fights because I get frustrated at the things he does. He really is a nice man but he's obsessed with his ten year old son. He is in his late forties I am in my mid thirties with older boys. I moved from my home town to his, his home. The issue that keeps resurfacing is how he puts me aside for his son. I mean there are little things but they don't happen once in a while they happen "All the time". They share custody with his ex wife whose a total nut case. They each get the child one week But we get him EVERYDAY because she picks him up from his house after work. Last Friday I stayed at a game that my school had and agreed to meet a little after 8 o'clock for dinner. I was to pick up my son from his job and meet him and the restaurant. He went to the restaurant with his son at 7:15 by the time I finally picked up my 19 year old from work they had already eaten. I was really upset. I felt that as long as his son is with him it doesn't matter if I show up or not. He pointed the fact that he tried texting me between 7:15 and 7:45.
This week is her week... yesterday they had a restaurant night at his son's school I had asked him before if he wanted to go and eat with his son and his ex wife since now they are on "friendlier" terms. He said no. We went to our community gym to work out together. When I finished my cardio he asked me if I was done. I said I need to do three sets. He then follows to tell me that he's going to run to his son school because he just texted him and he want to see him. Honestly I was really... really upset. I told him ok.. I will walk home and he tells me to take the car but I was so mad at him I said no. I will walk home. We live only a block and a half from our community gym he's son's school is almost next to the gym. He got upset that I was upset. He was furious. He still left to his son's school and I made it home. He got home 20 mins later.... the point is that I feel that he has this need to drop whatever he's doing to run and see his son. He is seeing him today because he picks him up every day from school. On the weeks his son is home with us at night... it becomes all about what he wants to do. I find myself making excuses not to come home on the weeks his home at night. Last week he woke up at the same time I did and I am kissing him and hugging him and he tells me "I got to go check on Brad" next thins I know he's laying in bed with him. He says how much his time is limited and how he only works all the time but yet I'm home and he's playing cards with his son because his son won't play with other kids his age. He spoils him and treats him like a 5 year old. And he says I am the one that focuses on petty things. Is always the same argument ... the same issue... he thinks it's me. Not the fact that when his son is around he treats me like he doesn't want me there. I am supposed to play the role of the perfect wife when he's not with us but when he is I am supposed keep my self busy elsewhere? his son is 10 not 5 nor 4.... he points out the damage the mom is doing but refuses to see what he's doing.... I don't know if I can take much more of this....
Any advice???