I have problems with both of my SK's but I'll start off with my SS17 because he is older and the worse of the two. I have a AS15 who lives with my DH and SD17. I adopted my son (not with my DH) when he was six years old from an orphanage in another country. He has issues like ADHD, PSTD, and RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). He's not extreme in these disorders but they do affect his daily life (and ours as well).

Whenever AS15 does anything wrong my DH is right there to discipline him. And I'm fine with that because if you give him an inch he will take a mile. He doesn't follow rules, doesn't think anything through to consequences, etc. He's almost like an 8 or 9 year old in his mentality so he needs a lot of redirection and guidance. However, if my SS17 does anything wrong...DH does NOTHING!!! When I say wrong I mean WRONG!!!! Here are some examples of what has happened in the past four years that we've been together that have had zero consequences: Suspended from school for fighting; Suspended from school for sending sexually explicit photo of himself to a girl on her cell phone; Reported by another parent for bringing alcohol to the park and giving it to her daughter; caught with a hunting knife on him while riding his bike through the neighborhood; arrested for possession of marijuana; physically assaulted my AS15; broke my dishes when he was mad at me; threw wet laundry that wasn't his on the floor in the garage instead of putting in the dryer because he was mad at me; had a restraining order put on him because he was chasing another student from his school in his truck (they were both in vehicles) at speeds in excess of 80 mph);

As I said there were no consequences for any of these things. The latest??? I got up to let the dogs out at 4:30 in the morning and caught him sneaking his girlfriend out of the house - he was only wearing his boxers - so we all know what was going on. We had already told him numerous times that girls were not to spend the night at our house - so he blatantly broke a house rule (never mind the sex part - which I don't even want to think about).

My DH said he was in trouble - but once again there have been no consequences. That very day he was allowed to drive the truck (that DH gave him free of charge, that we pay for the gas, insurance, upkeep and repairs on! SS17 can't have a job to help because DH says his job is to go to school) whenever and where ever he wanted, he was allowed to watch TV, play video games, be on the computer, talk on the phone - etc. Absolutely no consequences at all.

My son hates DH because he said he gets in trouble for everything and SS17 never gets in trouble at all for anything - and he's right. They finally had a big fight the other night because my AS15 was sick of being reprimanded and the other one never being reprimanded that he freaked out and told DH he was a effing d*ck and and he hated him. I couldn't take DH side because he is WRONG - but I was stuck because I don't want to not show a parental united front.

I would leave in a heart beat except for one thing...we both work at the same very small company...and my brother in law is our boss. I made really good money and could never replace this job anywhere else ever. The benefits are really good, too.

What's sad is that I end up hating my SS17 - but actually, it's DH fault. If he would actually discipline him things wouldn't be as bad as they are. Oh yeah, I forgot one thing...SS17 - still pees the bed!!! Why? Because he said it's easier than trying to get up and find his way to the bathroom in the dark when he's tired. He pees the bed because he's lazy and beacause his dad has always allowed it. How's that for nasty?