Swearing Skid

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Is it wrong for me to expect an apology for being sworn at by my 15 year old male skid? Swearing isn't part of our regular home life and having a problem with this when playing games online in his room - can hear him across the house and the fbombs fly. DH doesn't do much. Skid was angry at me a few weeks ago, gave me the finger with an fyou attached.

My SO would spank it on the

My SO would spank it on the spot! How did your DH react?

Initially SS stomped to his

Initially SS stomped to his room and locked the door. DH tried to talk to him but nothing came of it - he stayed in his room the rest of the night. Was told the next day if it happened again he would be out. I dont know if he was told at that point I needed an apology but within a few days I made sure DH knew I needed one. Was to get it on Monday but didn't. Wednesday now.... This happened about 3 weeks ago.

i'm with LadyFace; apologies,

i'm with LadyFace; apologies, when i'm hurt, only make it worse. I can handle them maybe after a week, if the skid is behaving properly, but not before and not if skid is not at his best.

I don't know what's up with

I don't know what's up with the locked door. He did tell him if it didn't open upon "knocking and asking" that it would be taken off the hinges.

I don't want a forced sorry.

I've been trying this "detached" thing. It's really hard.

Its not wrong at all to ask

:jawdrop: Its not wrong at all to ask for an apology - you shouldnt have to even ask. It should have been given right away!

If my SS EVER said that to me with a finger you better believe my foot would be up his butt!!! Mean SM or not!

Ok. Here's the rest of the

Ok. Here's the rest of the story. (I realize I'm going to get bashed here but....) A couple nights a week a have a bath that lasts for 1.5 hours. I take a book and a couple of cigarettes with me. It's my "me time". I've been doing this since the beginning of time...as long as we've been together. I guess the skid was at school and the topic of one of his classes was drugs, smoking, etc. Second hand smoke. He sent DH the links that he got...stressed that I was poisoning him. DH sat on it for awhile. Told me "he doesnt like you smoking in the bathroom" and I said "I don't like a lot of stuff he does", "I've been doing this for the past...", "maybe when he starts paying some of the bills around here....". Until one day SS said he was going to live at moms. So, I said I'll stop doing it only for DH, so SS stays for DH. AND I wanted a "report" on manners and respect. (both of which are foreign to his kids). Back to my original post...he was mad to the point of doing that because he had just dropped a cup on the floor and proceeded to put it back in the drawer. I said something to him about that and that's when I got the fbomb.

Ok. I'm ready. Give me what you got.

Unless the bathroom has no

Unless the bathroom has no windows, I would go on with my ritual (well, maybe just a cigarette and not 2) when SS is not at home, open the windows wide afterwards and plug an electric scent diffuser (I use one that eliminates the smell of cigarettes in 5 minutes).
Make sure to wash the shower curtain often, so that the smell doesn't "stick".

Exactly what LadyFace said!

Exactly what LadyFace said! Second hand smoke from 2 measly cigarette once a week from inside a bathroom with a vent and steam is NOT going to hurt him. Don't conform. This is all control.

Oh PUUUHLEASE! Look, I don't

Oh PUUUHLEASE! Look, I don't currently smoke (I quit) but I LOATHE the Smoke Nazi's and their disinformation. Are there carcinogens in second hand smoke? You betcha. Are there carcinogens in your household cleaning products used to clean the bathroom? Yep. Are there carcinogens pretty much anywhere you go from car exhaust? You know the answer.

The father of toxicology, Paracelsus said, "All things are poison, and nothing is without poison; only the dose permits something not to be poisonous."

Your one or two cigarettes in the bathroom, with SS not even present (meaning he's actually talking about THIRD hand smoke, not second hand - he'd have to be in the bathroom while you were smoking for it to be second hand) present less risk to the kid than him riding in a car, walking on the sidewalk, eating sugar and or butter as part of his diet, or about 10 thousand other things you'd care to name. Tell him to get over himself, and deal.

Thank you.

Ally, the father of

Ally, the father of toxicology may have said that, but the updated version can be found posted in many businesses in the state of California: "This area contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, or birth defects or other reproductive harm".

OP your SS is being a dramatic douche and your DH is backing him up. Bad, bad, bad. Go light one up and give them the bird from the tub.

Thank you!

There are electronic ashtrays

There are electronic ashtrays at Walmart (at least there used to be) that suck in the smoke. My exMIL used one of these and her place never smelled like cigarettes. They're not cheap ($40) and use D batteries, but it's a thought. I'm guessing there is only one bathroom in the house? Too bad you can't tell your SS to visit the nearest tree and use the outside hose to bathe.

lmao

Thanks

Wow!! I would have come down

Wow!! I would have come down on him like a ton of bricks! Also your house your rules!! I'm sure he ss has and will do more than smoke a cigarette in his life. You smoke away in your bathroom and enjoy your me time. My ss7 called his brother a dickhead at the weekend I made is clear as water that swearing in the house was not acceptabLe and xbox would be removed the next swear word I heard. They are 7 and 10. Not acceptable but he swore at you! Next time he does you need to disapline him there and then. He will just carry on otherwise. He clearly has no respect but he is a teenager they sometimes can't help being disrespectful! Not that is an excuse!

Initially SS stomped to his

Initially SS stomped to his room and locked the door. DH tried to talk to him but nothing came of it - he stayed in his room the rest of the night.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My DH is a Disney Dad but even he would not stand for ANYONE to talk to me like that. He would have shattered that door and then I shudder to think of what he would have done to SS.

Your DH is the issue here.

Totally agree!^^^^^ my

Totally agree!^^^^^ my partner also would have done something similar. The boys disrespect me...it's like disrespecting his queen

If a 15yo male gets

If a 15yo male gets aggressive with you just TAZER or MACE his ignorant ass, Ziptie his wrists and ankles together while he flops on the floor and call the cops to haul his ignorant little ass off to Jail until mommy or daddy go pick him up.

Get an RO to keep him far from your house and if he ever shows up again .... TAZER, MACE, Ziptie, 911 ........ lather, rinse, repeat.

If I had every spoken to my father's wife the way your SS-15 has spoken to you my USMC father would have hauled me to the backyard and ripped me limb from limb.

Your DH needs to man up and beat this little shit to within an inch of his miserable little life if he ever speaks to you or behaves towards you in anyway but respectfully.

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