Twisting my words
Last weekend when stepkids were coming over my stepdaughter called me asking if I was taking them somewhere when they come over. I told her I will not be taking anyone anywhere as I will not be home as I was going to go do something by myself which is something I never do and I really needed it. She twisted my words and told her siblings and mother that I said I didn't like them or didn't like spending time with them and don't want to hang out with them.
This same weekend my bio had a hockey jamboree we were going to be gone for hours and his food was being supplied by the hockey event. I usually take stepkids but they always bug me for food at the canteen and it is quite expensive. I said I would not be taking anyone with me as I will be gone for over 6 hours and everyone would need to eat and I can't afford to do the canteen today as we were taking them to a local hockey game the next day. I had planned on buying everyone a treat at the local hockey game. So my stepson twists my words and says that I am calling them fat and that is why they can't go. I never once called my stepkids fat let alone any name. I am tired of stepkids twisting my words around on me. It's getting old really quick.
Stop the explaination, just
Stop the explaination, just give yes or no responses.
No I'm not taking you anywhere.
No you're not coming to the jamboree.
Why? ....Because I'm not taking you this week.
That's not fair ....Life's not fair.
If they want to twist that into you being mean or not fair or not caring for them, let them. Stop worrying about what they say. If they start being rude about stuff stop doing things for them. Don't let rude kids bully you into going out of your way for them.
Although I think you were set
I think you were set up here. If you said yes, you'd be forcing them to go where they didn't want too. Next time, "I'm not sure check with your dad."
ETA - This was supposed to respond to another comment. :-)
Too Much Information
As BethAnn said, keep it short and to the point.
"Are you taking us anywhere?" Not this weekend. I have prior plans.
I'll be attending today's event alone. We will go together tomorrow. Then walk way, change the subject, etc.
I used to be bad about giving details to justify or explain the reasons behind my decision. Not anymore.
They are not twisting your words. They are lying POS kids.
Call them out as the liars they are. Loudly and publically.
Bare their asses. Toxic kids do not get a pass because they are kids. They get a foot to the lyins ass as should any other liar.
Call them out to their face, call them out to their father, and to their toxic BM.
Lather.... rinse.... repeat.
"You are liars. Stop lying. You know exactly what I said."
To really have fun, record everything. When they lie, play the recording. Add webcams to your home so you can bare their lying ass comprehensively. THen..... have video and recording time at the end of the day and highlight the truth.
Tolerate no bullshit from them.
One thing that will minimize their ability to set you up is to not explain anything in detail. They ask if you are taking them somewhere... just say.... No!. This just makes their lies more blatant when they pull the toxic lying aout of their own asses.
No, or Yes. End of discussion. No detail. No trying to reason with them or explain. When they lie, bare their idiot asses.
Take care of you,
are you taking us somewhere
are you taking us somewhere fun where we can force you to buy us something overpriced?
No.
Are we doing x,y,z?
No.
they want to play tiwst'a'word?
lt them twist "no".
You don't have to give
You don't have to give explanations. The more words you use, the more they can twist.
Besides, you don't owe them a detailed explanation.
THIS exactly.
THIS exactly.
I would even go so far as to say, "I think your dad has something fun planned for you." lolol
LMFAOOO, This made me want to
LMFAOOO, This made me want to spray my tea!
Where is SO in this
Is he punishing his kids for lieing . Or causing drama ? If he not punishing his DD he is taking there side. That the biggest problem you have. As a future SP. You don't have to rake SK to a hockey game. SK have two parents who do for them. You are not one of them. I am sure SD will explain that the first time you tell her something she doesn't like
"No." is a complete sentence!
"No." is a complete sentence! If SKs continue to beat a dead horse, be blunt. "You ARE right! I don't want to take you anywhere because of your manipulative ways. Whatever I do, you twist, so why should I attempt to do anything in the first place." BAM! Hit them with reality.
Sadly I had to have this same conversation with SD several years ago and she got VERY upset. But I let her know her words DO have meaning and they always come back to me one way or another. I don't think she was remorseful, just upset when her manipulation tactics no longer worked. on me.
It’s your life
You don't have to take anyone anywhere. That up to the parents
Yep, "go ask your Dad." is a
Yep, "go ask your Dad." is a perfect response!
I disagree
They are not twisting your words, they are LYING about you, pure and simple.
no next day treat
There needs to be a consequence for the lying. I would do anything for them the next day and make sure they know exactly why. If they simply get away with it, it will continue
You are now an official
You are now an official target to them because you are on their bad side for refusing to take them places. They will lie and make you out to be a monster even if you just say "no". Its your word against theirs and they will always be believed.
Cut off all one on one communication. If they ask you "will you be taking us to the game" just say I will let you know when you are here *in front of dad* OR you can ask dad and see what he decides (and have your husband respond to them on your behalf)
I have been through this as well and I found that a combination of recording myself and deviating all communication through my husband somewhat worked. Keep in mind you are on their bad side so situation will deteriorate eventually anyway and you wont have to worry about activities together anymore