BD issues,
My fiance co parents with the BD. Am I out of line for being upset that plans were rearranged for my fiance's birthday for the BD. I know my fiance wont go back to the BD, but they appease the ex out of fear they will take them to court to fight for custody of the children, which the BD doesnt have a pot to piss on when it comes to that. The BD all of a sudden doesnt want the kids alone with me bc we had a falling out, when I was trying to tell him about boundaries and may have hung up on him when he called to confront me about his behavior when my fiance spoke to him. I feel the BD uses the children as ponds to get my fiance to do as he wishes. He wants me gone he as said that to her openly admitted it. I dont believe he is over her. He has made comments about her coming back. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation? I am at a lose. I am madly in love but I feel I am pushed to the side for BD bc she thinks shes doing whats right for the children And bc he will fight with her and take her to court
You need help with gaining
You need help with gaining clarity if you are "madly in love" with this asshole who does not put you first.
You need to value yourself before anyone else will value you as you should be valued. Don't give your heart away so easily next time.
Move on, enjoy your life, find an equity life partner who will make you their unequivocal priority and take care of you.
IMHO of course.
And just for future
And just for future reference, Rag's humble opinions are pretty on-point. Seriously, take this good advice to heart.
Sounds like your fiancee is
Sounds like your fiancee is trying to co-parent with the BD, but that he can be a douche at times. You're saying she rearranged her birthday plans because of her ex... why? Did he have the kids during that time? Does she want the kids around for her birthday?
What was the change?
BD might think your fiancee will go back to him... but your fiancee is just doing what many men do - she's giving in to her ex not to rock the boat. On this site, many men are accused of being ball-less because they bend to the will of their ex-wife... sounds like in your case, that's what your fiancee is doing... bending to her ex.
Honestly, it's her birthday, and if she wants to rearrange the plans so that she gets something she wants as well, it shouldn't be something you should be concerned about.
Also - stop talking to your future wife's ex. He sounds like a peach... just don't interact with him. Whether he wants you gone or not doesn't matter - that decision is not up to him, it's up to your fiancee.... does she enjoy having two men fight over her?