Defamation of his character !!!

I wouldn't "ask" her anything...she has proven that she's nuts. Normal people don't contact their ex's fiance's mother or coworkers. Treat her like a criminal. Would you ask a criminal to stop meddling or would you fight back (legally, of course)?

But then again maybe she's right. Lets keep a sharp eye out for those traits she's describing and make sure we're not deluding ourselves. Remember he's an ex for a good reason.

My DH's exW did this to me constantly when we first started dating. When I would no longer answer my cell, she called my work place and would come through the switchboard operator to my office. She'd go on and on about what a terrible man DH was, while at the same time saying that I am a home wrecker (they were divorced 5 yrs when DH and I got together), that she loves him, that I should respect that they have children together and allow them to be a family and take myself out of the equation, that he will always be there for her and I'm just a blip on his radar, and how terribly sad and depressed she was because he was with someone else. I finally said to her, if he's all these things you say he is, then shouldn't you be THANKING me for taking him out of your life rather than begging me to leave him for you to have? Kind of shut her up quickly. Course then the wrath became directed at me and DH and it's still continuing even though she finally did find some poor sucker to move her homeless ass into his house and finance her.

I don't know what you should do but the time my husband's ex called me, trying to be all friendly and give me the scoop on DH, I hung up on her. When she called right back, I told her if she ever contacted me again, I would sue her for harassment. That was the end of that, she never called me again.

She is jealous. If she can't have him, no one else should either. Tell her you don't need her advice. Tell your family members she is talking to that she has no right to talk to them either. BS.

I wish my ex's first wife had warned me. We have since talked about it and she told me her mom said not to bother warning me because I would not believe her. So I ended up marrying a psychopathic porn addicted con man. Nightmare! I think I have ptsd from our 8 year marriage and it's been 6 years. Sometimes it's NOT the bitch being crazy!

I would email (so you have proof later if needed) and tell her thanks for your concern, but you are happy in your relationship and it is none of her business.

Tell her she is not to speak to your family or co-workers about your or your relationship.

Tell her she also should not be speaking to the skids negatively about you or their dad. I would include links to articles about this and how it backfires on the complaining parent.

You should also have your fiancé tell her these things.

When we first got together, bm would try to bond with me by asking about old behaviors of dh's she hated, I did not bite. Dh told her at one point to stop. I never specifically confronted her, but wish I had on this and a couple other things.

In general, let dh deal with bm- when she is directly involving you, talking about you, etc. I think it is best to break that and one time clearly and professionally set boundaries.

I didn't do this, but wish I had. Although, honestly, I guess it all worked out as good as it would have had I spoken up. Shrug.

I think tell her once that you don't think she should talk about him to other people and that you appreciate her concern but don't need her advice. Then stay away from her and ignore anything she says.
If there is a problem with your OH you'll find out soon enough, even if it was true you couldn't leave him just because she said these things, you'd still need to know for yourself, it's human nature so there's no point in her telling you this.
The fact that she's badmouthing him says a lot more about her than it does him actually so ignore it and don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she's winding you up.