Here's the thing about parenting classes... I know an ignorant father who went to one and all he heard was that he was doing everything right. That's not what they said...that's what he heard. These dads really need 1 on 1 counseling or advice for specific situations. And SMs need to start videotaping things so they (or counselor) can see what's really going on.

This is good. I'm glad you are doing this. My fiance and I did the same thing.

Word of warning though...DO NOT expect an immediate or even a quick turnaround. It will take a while for the kid to get used to the new structure. Trust me, 7 yrs old means there are 7 years of getting her own way that you have to overcome. It also means that your SO will have to overcome his tendancies to letting her get her way. That's what's going on in my home now, even though we did the rules over a month ago.

Good luck and stay strong!

How did it go?

My rules for my 5 and 7 year old sd's

1. Time out is huge.

DH thought it was a wasted of time and LOVED to threaten spankings. But kids would just be scared and learn nothing. Time out's worked really really well. But the key is to give the time out RIGHT AWAY at home, and if you are in public then forward the time out to be taken when you get to the planned activity or next fun thing you can think of to make them sit out of.

2. Explain the way you want things to be and why the other behaviors will not work... remind her that crying will only send her to time out.

She's not allowed to come out of timeout crying, she has to sit there until she calms down and can talk about what it is she needs, wants, feels, with out all the water works and drama.

3. Teach her to communicate to you. Words are power.

She will not be able to do this with her dad if he is like most men and doesn't access that side of his brain regularly. If you are the one annoyed by her behavior you are the one who has to change it. If she isn't responsive to the conversations at first don't give up. Seven isn't 17, you still have 10 solid years to groom her.

My sd7 is a lot more advanced intellectually than my sd5, after a year and a half i have to remind sd5 still that talking about the problem will help us find a solution, that crying isn't going to solve it, but by sd7 has pretty much got it down now after a year and a half since she was 6. Both of the kids were whinny crying almost brats but still young enough to get a pass. But it wouldn't fly now, for either of them. And their bm's side of the family is outrageous young and immature lets them do whatever they want, much like what pumpkin said about her BM

anyway...

4. Positive reinforcement is a good tool, but after a few months of a sticker chart reward system at home we moved on from it. Now they are just so well behaved that everyday theres smiles and fun and prizes, we no longer need a treasure box to reaffirm things. I also didn't want to make toys the REASON they were good. Now after being CONSISTENT with my parenting approach for 17 months or so, everything is great.

If only I could fix their BM.

Good luck.