God Bless the Stepparents trying to disengage
Forums:
when you STILL have steps either living with you or visiting on a regular schedule/basis. I've disengaged from my OSS (40 years old) and it's been incredibly freeing! He lives with his wife and 2 kids and he rarely bothers with my DH so disengaging from him/them was easy once I made the decision to do it. I cannot imagine how hard and tricky disengagement would be if they are under the same roof as you. Seriously, kudos to you! I will keep you all in my prayers.
Recently disengaged
I have recently disengaged from my horrible former SS, a thirty year old liar, manipulator, and all round jerk. After years of his nonstop abuse, after after the opiate overdose of his adult sister (he and his friends and their mother brought illegal drugs into her life and made her life hell), I finall told him to get out of my life forever. My DH, in-laws and friends support this given the abuse this horrible person has heaped on all of us.
Enjoying life now,
Mary
I disengaged after this dude
I disengaged after this dude called me jealous of his kids, his ex-wife said she didn't want another woman aside from her around her kids, and this dude failed to understand when his kids wants should be properly prioritized.
I recently started to come back around a bit as long as my boundaries were being respected then I would give them the time of day.
Purging toxic, regardless of who they may be, is a must.
That some mates of SPs are so deluded that they do not purge the toxic, even though they created the toxic, is one of the primary causes of failed second, etc... marriages.
So many will not purge their toxic progeny, they won't even purge their toxic X(s).
Sadly, this makes those mates ones to be added to the purge list.
I do not understand why so many SParents tolerate these failed toxic mates, their toxic failed family spawn, and their failed toxic Xs at all, much less for countless years.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of the unknown. Insecurity. I believe total or even a lot of disengagement from a spouse's children will end in divorce. Not judging as it may be totally necessary. Just saying.