Sorry in advance  for this long first post. I was searching the web for answers to my question and found this site. I hope someone can tell me if there's anything I can do to legally protect my sd and my bd from the husband I'm trying to escape from.  

Here''s a little back story:

I'm very fond of my 16yo sd who lives 100 mi away with her bm. We have standard visitation and over the past few years she and I have become very close. She and my 16yo bd are best friends. 

My husband has a number of mental issues. Simply put, he is an abusive (documented), narcissistic sex addict. He attends a recovery group but remains active in his addiction. We live in the same house but I have my own room. I've been trying to formulate an escape plan for my disabled brother, my bd and me for quite some time but there are many obstacles. One is financial, another is the fact that we would be leaving my sd alone with him on her visits. 

This is the recent incident that brought me here:

My husband regularly wears these very loose sleep shorts around the house and on many occasions I have warned him that his junk is visible. We're separated - I don't even want to see all that. It happens often, and I've started thinking that maybe it's intentional as it's likely a trigger for his addiction.

My bd avoids him like the plague in general but I still worried about her and my sd being exposed so I have made it a point to warn him every time it happens in front of me.

About a month ago my sd told me she had seen it. She didn't think it was intentional but she was disgusted and upset and wanted me to mention it to him, but not until after she'd gone back to her mom's. 

A few days later I saw him relaxing with his jewels showing (can he not feel that?) and I took the opportunity to tell him what she had said. He didn't believe me and was very defensive. But at least he'd been made aware.

Fast-foward to this past weekend.

Sd came to me and said it had happened again *twice* that day and she wanted to confront him about it herself but wanted me to be there when she did in case he got violent. I agreed. 

She bravely began to tell him what happened and he cut her off immediately saying, "Okay. Got it." but she wasn't finished. She was distraught and wanted him to get rid of those revealing shorts so she could be sure it couldn't happen anymore. He said he would agree not to wear them when she's over. She said that wasn't good enough because she wanted to protect my bd as well, plus as long as he still had them there would always be a potential for it to happen again.  

He adamantly refused to get rid of the offending clothes and she adamantly insisted that it was the only solution. Eventually I intervened and explained to him that she wasn't trying to control his wardrobe or tell him what to do, she was just trying to set a boundary that would help her feel safe at our house. Well, he doesn't "do" boundaries so things got very heated with the two of them not coming to any agreement even though she made it clear that she would probably not be visiting again if he didn't fix the problem to her satisfaction. He felt like he was fixing the problem by agreeing to only wear them in his bedroom.

 At that point, we ended the discussion because he was getting angry and defensive and wouldn't budge, but later that evening she went to talk to him again without me. She explained again that his clothing choice was inappropriate and she wouldn't feel safe visiting anymore if there was a possibility that it could happen again. Again, he adamantly refused to throw them away and told her if she didn't want to come back again that was on her. He had become very angry by this time and she was scared of him. 

My heart still hurts when I think of how that must have felt for her. After this second talk, she came into my room crying (she's not a crier at all!) and told me what had happened. She was devastated and wanted to leave because she thought he might get violent because he kept going back into her room harassing her, insisting that she hug him to show that she was over it. He just wouldn't stop.

I told her I'd drive her home if she wanted, but she made arrangements to stay at her grandmother's house that night since it was much closer (and it was nearly 10pm).

After she left, she called her mom and told her what had happened.  Bm is furious, and rightly so. Sd and bm have both told me that she's never coming over again (Incidentally, bd and I will be able to visit her, but without him - and thank goodness for that!)

After she left things got a little crazy with the husband but that's nothing new. There are many things that I need to deal with here, but this site is about stepkids so I'm hoping we can stick with that topic for now.

As with most abusers, he has now realized the error of his ways and wants to make up with her, but she won't speak to him. She doesn't answer his calls or reply to his texts. She says she's constantly looking over her shoulder worried that he's trying to find her. 

He still believes she'll be coming over for Christmas, but there is zero chance of that happening.

Anyway, all this week I've been wondering if there's any recourse or protection for us - but especially for her - under the law.  Can I get a TPO based on these events even though he's asserting that they were all accidents and she doesn't live with us? I mean, I don't really know either way. I have my doubts based on his history, his triggers and the fact that he's had many warnings that this is a problem and has chosen not to correct it. I'd really like to do whatever I can to help her feel safe again and to help him understand that he needs to leave her alone.

I hope no one has actual experience with anything like this, but if anyone does or if anyone has any particular knowledge, can you share what you know?

Thanks for any input you have to offer.