I am currently raising my husbands two daughters from a previous marriage. We won custody nearly two and a half years ago when the kids were four and seven. The Biological Mom (BM) has SUPERVISED visitation with her mother (kids maternal grandmother) listed as the approved supervisor. Last weekend, after their supervised visit, the youngest came home complaining that it hurt to pee. Scared she had a UTI I took her to the doctors office Monday morning. The doctor examined her with me present and the child was severly red in the vaginal area. I asked the doctor what was causing the redness and she stated that this level of redness is consistant with either sexual abuse or a yeast infection which was likely caused by wearing too tight of clothing, staying in wet clothing for too long, bathing in an unclean tub, and wiping improperly. Two years ago, the same child told her therapist that her younger sister(lives with the maternal grandmother and is from a different man than my husband) was touching her sexually and inappropriately. The therapist called CPS and the case was investigated and ruled unfounded after they played guilt trips on the child and made her feel like if she stuck to her story she wouldn't get to see her mom or grandma (of course the child changed her story). Like I told the doctor, I do not believe that she is currently being sexually abused in anyway, and I am confident that the child would tell us if something like that was going on. The child also told the doctor that she hasn't been touched or hurt in her private area. Shes been using the cream the Dr. gave and is doing much better now. Before this weekends visitation, my husband asked the grandmother (who provides all transportation because the BM doesn't have a license because she owes over 4g in child support)to more closely monitor the oldest eating. The oldest child is 10 and weighs 127 pounds. Her moms side is on the larger side and I understand her metabolism isn't what her sisters is. When I took the oldest for her physical over a year ago the doctor was concerned about her BMI. He discussed with her the importance of eating the right portion sizes (fist sized), making healthy eating choices (adding more fruits and vegetables), and staying fit and active. My husband has two younger school aged sisters who are both being tested for Juvenile Diabetes because they are so large from constantly overeating. My husband called the grandmother last night because he was finally fed up with everything. The oldest gained three pounds over the weekend! She told us she had two bagels and three pancakes for breakfast, two pieces of pizza and a bunch of wings for lunch. AM I WRONG OR IS THIS WAY TOO MUCH FOR A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL? My husband relayed the information that the doctor said about the youngest yeast infection and his concerns about Nicole's eating once again and she flipped out like her entire bi-polar family does when they don't like what they hear. The grandmother became irrational and impossible to communicate with. My husband told her she is clearly not fit to continue supervising the visitation since she cannot be an adult and communicate with him. The grandmother "refuses to deny anything to her grandchildren or to put them on a diet." He told her multiple times it's not a diet she can eat whatever she wants, she just needs to eat a ten year olds sized portion! She went off accusing him of accusing her of sexual abuse and abusing the children when he was simply trying to relay the information the doctor shared with us and his concerns about the oldest's health! She threatened to help her daughter get custody of my husbands two kids and that shes ready to have them back (when just last month the grandmother won custody again after the daughter tried to get her back). If she was really ready to have them back then why do you still have her third child?!?! We are in a bind because the oldest has made it clear to her therapist and us that she doesn't want to go to visitation anymore. If we file for a change in visitation/ custody we leave the opportunity open for the BM to seek unsupervised visitation with the girls because the deal her and her mother made in order for her mom to keep the child was to in exchange allow unsupervised visitation with her third child. We have already spent over 15k fighting this woman and my husband has missed 16 days of work this last year to answer petitions in four different counties where the BM is trying to get her child support lowered after voluntarily quiting her job that paid more than my husbands! She is also now receiving social services and free lawyers/ the cost of all these court dates all on you TAXPAYERS. Not sure how to proceed, any advice is appreciated. I have created a support group on facebook to try and help get through this. If you are in a similar situation or are just plain sick of baby momma drama and want to join me here is the link https://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/groups/322463667824287/