what do i do???

newmom123's picture

I have been with my husband for 3 years now. We have a child of our own, and he has a child from a previous relationship. His childs mother is no longer in the picture and hasnt been for about 6months now. Recently he asked to call me mom rather than my real name. A few days later he said he wanted to call me by my real name because I wasnt his "real" mom. I asked if I wasnt his mother than who was? and he said he didnt know. I told him I was his mother and his father is his dad and we both love him very much. He said ok he didnt know and was upset over everything. His father and myself want to sit him down and reassure him of things, but we are unsure what should be said vrs not said. He is 5 years old. Please any help would be great!

joanie's picture

my biodad took off when I was one ish and we've never heard from him since. when I was about that age I told my dad I wasn't going to listen to something because he wasn't my real dad. he replied "your real dad? I'm your dad. if you get hold of another one good for you."

I also once asked him what if my real dad showed up. he said he is my dad, and if another one shows up he'd be glad to let them buy me some toys instead.

I never really worried about it after a few reassurances

the kid in your case might be worried- what if you disappear too? "mom" doesn't seem to have good connotations in his life, after all.

maybe reassure him that no matter what he calls you or anyone else, you're his mom, and not going anywhere.