I have no patience
Forums:
I am currently 6 months pregnant, and I have a 6 year old step daughter. She and I are having a super hard time getting along. She listens to her dad, but doesn't ever take what I say seriously. I have tried to be stern, take stuff away, be gentle, be patient. Ive literally tried every approach I know how, but it doesn't seem to matter. My husband supports me and stands behind what I say, but he wants me to figure out how to do it on my own. My step daughter and I butt heads more than anyone in this world and she frustrates me to no avail. I don't know how much nagging and fussing is too much, and I don't know if it gets better. Help!
NO! This is not up to you to
NO! This is not up to you to "figure out". It's up to him to make it clear to his daughter that what you say goes and that you get the last word. By the way, why are you butting heads with her so much? Isn't your SO parenting her? Is he leaving it all up to you?
What? He wants you to "figure
What? He wants you to "figure out" how to get her to listen to you? Good news! It's not your job to discipline or parent her in any way, so there is nothing to figure out. You get to be the fun aunt who hands her back to him for any discipline needed, and she gets consequences from HIM.
At the very very least, he needs to give her consequences for not respecting your authority. Sounds like he's getting you ready to hand off all parenting to you and that's a no-go.
When all else fails, what
When all else fails, what remains has to be the answer. You have tried the range of nice to stern. So go zero feeling, zero tolerance, and full confrontation.
She either learns to respect the standards of behavior and performance you set for your home, or ... she experiences a life of abject misery. Her choice.
Whater she choses, the enforcement of standards and damands for reasonable and respectful behavior are unequivocal.
Zero tolerance.
Try it.