"I want my mommy!" any advice?
I'm a year and a half into my 6 year old stepson, and the second he walks in the door he starts in with "I wanna go home!" "I hate it here!" "I want my mommy!"... primarily because there are NO RULES at mommy's house! Our crazy rules like "it's time for bed" and "no you can't have a candy bar for dinner" don't seem that unreasonable to me. This kid can throw a fit like nobody's business and it totally flies at mom's house. Here's an example - she lives an hour and a half away so we meet at a gas station to pick him up (when she feels like holding up her end of the deal) and GOD FORBID you go to a store and don't buy the kid candy. He'll throw himself on the floor and start screaming "you're hurting me!" and "I can't take it anymore!" (that's his favorite) Anyway I go to pick him up and he starts throwing one of his patented fits, so I throw him over my shoulder and tickle him until he starts laughing then I buckle him into his car seat. I turn my back for 10 seconds and Mom had dug a piece of candy out of her purse and given it to him - way to affirm his behavior, Mom! Aaargh! I have never heard a kid as whiny as him, and he's just started Kidnegarten and the other kids are starting to notice it. The first thing out of this kid's mouth when he wakes up is "I wanna go home! Why can't I go home! I hate you!"... and that's before he opens his eyes! We've tried talking to him, scolding him, time outs... it annoys the hell out of me but it upsets Dad a lot... any advice on how to deal with this?
WHERE was your DH? (This
WHERE was your DH? (This awful.)
I personally think, he needs
I personally think, he needs a spanking. It is rude to hurt you guys' feelings by saying these mean things to you.
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself." -
Will Rogers
My son used to be at this
My son used to be at this extreme...telling me he hated me and he wanted his daddy,etc...I used to be so angry and frustrated about it. It kept getting worse til I just started saying to him "I understand that u want daddy...but right now you need to be with me. U will get to be with daddy again so there is no point in making a fuss while you r here bc you aren't going to be able to get your way right now". No emotion. No show of anything other than cold hard facts. Choochoo eventually got over it and now only says "I wish I lived w daddy" once in a while when he's in trouble. Just be firm. Be consistent in your response to the behavior and it will get better. Choochoo didn't start improving for about a year... redirecting their attention without responding to their fussing works sometimes too. "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
SD used to throw major
SD used to throw major tantrums when she had to come with us because Wingnut let her do whatever she wanted and because Wingnut told her we were mean and that mommy cried all weekend when SD was with daddy. We just let her scream and cry. We didn't give in to it (though Wingnut thought we were terrible for making her visit), we didn't tell her to stop, we didn't do anything at all. She eventually realized it was getting her nowhere and she stopped. It takes a lot to ignore it especially when they're totally loud and crying, but it is my best advice.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Young children really do
Young children really do need their mothers. Is it possible to set up a "visit" with the child every other weekend until he gets older and can handle being away from his mom. Three hour visits going to a movie & having lunch at the park type of thing.
If it were my child I wouldn't want my kid to go through that. 6 is very young, especially for boys. Waiting a while for the over-nighters to start might be better.