Keeping BS3 away from s/kids?? Help..
So, for the most part, I love that my s/kids want to play with my son (3) all the time. They are 13, 11, and 8. However, they are constantly teaching him things and words that they think are funny, and I don't want him to know. Hitting, kicking, rough play, bad words... it's the bad words that really gets me. When he's not around them, he's pretty chill. As soon as they walk in, they're grabbing at him (so he starts shrieking), they play rough with him and then get pissed when he hits back (he's 3, he thinks he's doing what they're doing!), and then he gets in trouble for saying the words they are INTENTIONALLY teaching him.
I was literally up in the middle of the night worrying about this. It doesn't matter how many times I ask them to not grab at him, or intentionally antagonize him (they do this all the freaking time), or teach him things he shouldn't say, they still do it. I literally wanted to cry because I feel like he's going to lose his childlike innocence too soon with them around.
We're talking about an 8yr old and 11yr old who got kicked off the school bus for being disobedient, and so verbally vile that they weren't allowed near younger kids. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
I know he wants to play with them too, but I don't want him near them when they do this. I'm almost to the point of wanting to tell them they can't interact with him whatsoever until they straighten up. I don't want my sweet little boy robbed of his innocence because they have no morals.
Suggestions? Thoughts?
Hi, I'm brand new here. So
Hi, I'm brand new here. So pardon me if there's a part of the story I'm missing but, these are your hubby's kids? And the 3 year old is yours and his? If that is the case, then have you discussed this with him? As. Uh as you may feel weird approaching him about this, I can't imagine that he is completely blind (I know denial is a strong emotion when it comes to our kids) to all of this. Also, if the little one is his biological child as well, it shouldn't come across as "my kids against yours". While it is difficult for kids to adjust if they live in 2 houses, the reality is, that most kids do. It sounds like the rules are different at their mom's house. They are old enough to understand that a different house = different rules, and different circumstances ( a young child who is like a sponge). At the very least, your hubby and the oldest should get it, and the rest should follow suit.
The 3yr old is mine from my
The 3yr old is mine from my first marriage, the other three demons are DH's. His ex has zero rules for them when they are with her, which is now only one weekend a month
I've tried to bring it up with DH, with examples of when I've heard them purposefully teach my son something, and half the time he says "It's not all their fault, it's partly his fault too." Really? REALLY?! So, I am right now sitting next to my completely chill son, who would never hit me, and YOUR kid walks in the room and starts rough housing with him and suddenly the hands and fists are flying, you're telling me it's partly MY son's fault?! I fail to see the connection here.
I just picked my son up from his dad, and he randomly started listing all the nasty words that SS8 has taught him. Not like swear words, but bodily function words that I hate and things I really don't want my 3yr old saying. I tried to drill in his head that he shouldn't say it when SS8 says it, and to instead come to me. I already told DH last week that I am no longer punishing my son for doing something the others intentionally teach him to do. I will tell him that it's not nice or something to say/do, but I will no longer punish him for their bull crap.
There's a daycare down the road, and I'm seriously considering putting my son in it just to get him into a nice Christian environment away from these demon kids. Although, school starts in an eternal 28 days (not that I'm counting or anything...) and then he will only see them a couple afternoons a week.
Yeah, I literally lose sleep over this. I have the sweetest, most tenderhearted boy. Until he's around them. It breaks my heart. :/
Well I'm not sure I have
Well I'm not sure I have advice for you but I definitely sympathize
My Skids (SS11 and SS9) are so inappropriate. They say and do inappropriate things when they are here and DH and I have a 6 year old son. Our son wouldn't repeat anything and if he does, we tell him not to say/do that and he listens because that is the way we raise him. This may be harder for you since yours are there often and we get my skids very rarely (but they sure do stir up the $hit while they're here!!!). My skids have no good influences where they live 98% of the time and we have come to realize over time that no matter how good of an influence we try to be for them, nothing sticks or ever will.
Teach your kid the morals you want him to have. It will be a long, hard road but you can do it. You will have to find a way to teach your boy to be better than those behaviors without making him think he's better than the skids. Good luck