New here, whats acceptable and a small vent
Hi, Im 31 year old birth mother to 4 and step mother to 1. Me and my husband have been together almost 5 years and married for 3, I have known him for over 16 years now, and have been around my step son his whole life. My husbands ex and I are facebook friends for communication purposes because we don't have long distance and they live in a different state, anyways, tonight after I got back from dropping him off and going to dinner with my husband, I logged onto facebook and seen a post from her stating that she took my step son to see my husbands mother after she picked him up. I was pissed, I feel like its my husbands place to do that, not HERS, my MIL is a alcoholic, she never calls or comes and sees my SS or my daughter, and we choose not to take them to see her because of her lifestyle and living conditions. I have discussed this with the BM a few times, yet she continues to take him to see her. BM is married and has kids by her husband, I think it is highly inappropriate that she takes my ss to see my husbands family, am I being unreasonable thinking this way?
LOL, yes, you're
LOL, yes, you're unreasonable.
My DH's ex is up my ILs ass. She sees them more than we do. :?
You know what? I no longer care. They're all adults and can do/see who they wish.
Honestly, get off her FB. Send a text message to communicate.
Is it inappropriate? Yea, it
Is it inappropriate? Yea, it kinda is. Is there one damn thing you can do about it? Nope.
This is not a hill to try and die on. You will change nothing and just frustrate yourself. Try to let it go. BM can do whatever she wants on her time, have the kids around whoever she wants. It's a sad fact of life. You can't change it, so regardless of how inappropriate it may be, it's better to not worry about it. You're not being unreasonable exactly, but you're not going to get anywhere. It's a hamster wheel. You can get worked up about it and rage about how awful it is, but BM obviously is going to do what she wants to do, inappropriate or not.
I am a BM and I am still VERY
I am a BM and I am still VERY good friends with my ex's family. Probably closer to them than he is. I actually spend more time with them than he does. So sometimes I bring our son with me to visit them.
Did it bother my son's stepmom? Maybe. But I've made a bond with his family and I don't want him back. I'm just close with them and I encourage my son seeing his family. His dad doesn't bring him to see them too often.
I don't see this as an issue
I don't see this as an issue that the BM sees the inlaws, but that she is taking the skid to an environment where they would prefer she not go.
Who really is okay with their kid (bio or skid) going to spend time with an alcoholic with poor living conditions?
Ahhh...I see. But that means
Ahhh...I see. But that means everyone gets to choose who everyone else goes to visit with the child. Let's say BM isn't a fan of someone who may have some other kind of issue and doesnt want the dad and stepmom taking him there. Thats opening a can of worms.
I think its ok as long as the child isn't being LEFT there in the mother's care.
As much as it may anger you,
As much as it may anger you, there really is nothing you can do about it. At the end of the day, that is his mother, and she can take him wherever she pleases.
It may be a good idea to have your DH speak with BM once more, and just reiterate that he is not comfortable with his child being left alone at his mother's house. I'm sure DH and BM can come to an even ground on that.
On a last note, I must agree with what others are saying .... You need to stop communication with BM. As a SM, it is not your place to do so. Let DH deal with BM. I think this may cause you a lot less grief in the long run.
Best of luck.