I think the answer here is "if you don't like it, you are excused from the table and can go to bed without dinner tonight."

they will not starve.

I get the same thing from my skids (mostly from SS14). He basically hates everything unless his mommy makes it. Could be the simplest thing, but if it came from my kitchen he hates it. I was sick of feeling hurt over his comments about everything and trying to cater to his taste, so now when he comes over he can make himself something from the freezer. We have frozen pizza, hot pockets, chicken patties ect. I will not cook for him. I cook for my husband & he can help himself to whatever. Maybe when he's older & more mature and can appreciate the work that goes into a home cooks meal I will be happy to cook for him. Don't allow a situation for you to be hurt & insulted by ungrateful skids. Good luck. *hugs*

SS is that way. All of a sudden SS says he doesn't like my spaghetti, rigatoni.....he likes Mommy's better. But he will want to have 6 cheese sticks if you let him.

me: OK SS what does Mommy do different.
SS: Nothing, I just like her sauce better.
me: SD, what kind of sauce does Mommy use.
SD: Just something out of a can.

SS spends the nite with my DS, DIL and gkid last month. He eats rigatoni at her house. Apparently my DIL puts mozzerella cheese and sauce over it and bakes it after it has boiled. OK, I will do that for him sometime.

We go to my Mom's house this past week and Mom makes rigatoni with the exact same sauce I buy...and SS eats it up and asks for 2nds.

SO says to me, what is so different about your Mom's, I said not a thing. Here's what I was thinking.......well prolly cause he knows you're not going make him an omelet or something so the poor lil prince doesn't starve. SO will actually say, Guess I better make lil prince something else since he doesn't like pasta. Damn right Skippy, I cooked and I ain't cooking no more.

That would be very hard to take. My SD made a few comments about there being too much olive oil on the food all the time. That was about it. For the most part my skids always told me it was the best food they ever had and thanked me pretty much at every meal. I spend so much time making home made tasty food that it would really hurt me to have them make rude comments. Other things that I don't care so much about and don't put much effort into it, would not bother me as much.
Do they cook at all? Maybe that could be something they could get involved in.

Ugh my SS11 has said for the last 5yrs at every meal that It's disgusting. I hate __. He even goes as far as taking out all the veggies in my home made spaghetti, meatloaf, pasta, casserole, ect and sneak them into the trash. One time I caught him on accident. He had his hand in his plate of meatloaf and I was all "um your hands in ur food lol" he sat there and dint move his hand. Then I said "get ur hand out of your food silly." He moved his hand slowly and I saw why. A handful of onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, ect. I was pissed. The worst part is now when he's here my DD3 says "this is disgusting." Since there is no punishment for SS for ANYTHING I feel so guilty spanking my baby esp when SS has taught her all the ungrateful, disrespectful habits he has... But I yanked her up from her chair, spanked her butt (which is a light swat. I believe children do }:) not need to be hit hard to make your point. It's more so about how their little feelings get hurt) stuck her in the corner and after she had to eat all her food. The prob is BM feeds him nothing but junk, fast food and IF she cooks its easy meals. She has told me before that she does not cook. I said "oh why do you not know how?" She said she's never had the time... She never cleans either. Before her bf her house was flat out disgusting. I got tired of SS being a slob and taught him how to clean. It is hurtful and pisses me off to not only hear the stupid comment SS gives about my food but then DH will say he doesn't have to eat it all, to eat what he likes then gives him dessert. Do not just take it. Put your foot down. You are not a doormat. I wouldn't recommend feeding him junk. I always loved the fact that I care more about his health and invest time & effort in feeding him. Unlike BM. Haha take that BM you lazy cow! If SS doesn't et diabetes you can thank me }:) !!!!

Have no idea how the devil smiley got into the comment on spanking.... Just wanted to say I did not mean for it to go there at al.

Most if not all of us on this site have faced this dilemma.

Children like what they have always eaten. This is normal to them.

It is not personal. Honestly it's not. But there is absolutely no excuse for the rude comments.

I went through this with fsd9 at the time and fss12 at the time. I told my SO that their rude comments not only hurt my feelings it was a reflection of him and his lack of parenting. That I was embarased to take them out and he was going to need to help them grow in this area.

He needed to teach his children the proper way to turn down something that they do not like. To eat what they do like and leave the rest without comment. If asked don't you like this or are you not hungry, they should respond it is not my favorite.

I now know how to cook for the muffins and we never have rude comments. Also I enacted the pbj and fruit rule for them the same I had when my BD was growing up. If you don't like or you are not in the mood for what was made for dinner, you can make a grilled cheese or ppj sandwich and have a piece of fruit. No snacks later.

This has made meal time much more enjoyable for all of us, and they now know how too politely turn down a meal. They have friends over all the time and they go to their houses. Now they will not be rude or embarase themselves because they have the proper tools to decline a meal they do not like.

My fskids mother cooks none and I mean none, they eat out every meal and sometimes even breakfast, and she does her grocery shopping at walgreens......milk and cereal is all she buys.

No wonder they came to me with such poor manners, eating habits, and picky eaters.
But three years later we have extreme growth. They try new things and their manners have improved so much. I am proud I helped in their growth.

My SO does the correcting. He is good at it. To remind them to put their napkins in their lap. To hold their fork correctly. Best of all they now chew with their mouth closed.

Be honest and do not accept the rude comments from these kids. You will not be doing you or them any favors by accepting rude behavior.

I heard that ALL the time (see my recent blog on "which is worse?") GG would excuse their rotten behaviour every time until the final days just before PAS out.

Depends on what type of support you get from biodad. If you get no backing from him and he doesn't want to make sure his kids are getting proper nutrition (like GG was in the first 4 1/1 years of my journey into StepHell) and manners, then disengage and don't cook anything anymore. Let DH do it all.

SD9 does this no matter who makes the meal or where we take them to eat. Its always "Grandma's (BM's mother) tastes better than this" "Mommy makes the best ____" "Mommy puts ____ in her mashed potatoes and it makes it taste so good." DH is a zen master though and acts like he can't hear her until I either kick him under the table or get so frustrated I tell her myself "That's enough!"

SD11 has become my new ally though when she says things like "Whatever, mommy never even cooks" or "I think this tastes really good."

my SS9 his mom feeds him nothing but junk and when we took him to the doctor several months ago surprise surprise he's overweight. He needs to eat more veggies, DH had the doctor write an order to give to BM and she STILL feeds him junk. But at our house we enforce it and my husband doesn't allow disrespect he told him the first time he did it to eat it or go to bed.

What does your husband say to them when they are clearly disrespecting you?

This is funny, because I've actually told my bf that he needs to address this with one child specifically, who is a picky eater. BM feeds processed, kid type foods, so they don't know what to do with real food, or god forbid, VEGGIES! We were talking about what we should have for Thanksgiving and I actually played out in my head the one child saying she didn't like something and me smacking her LOL. I would never do that, but OMG she is old enough to know better at this point.

When I cooked meals I asked everybody to rate the recipe on a scale (A-D). A & B recipes stayed on the "make again" list and the others didn't. Handling it that way, took the personal element out of it and allowed them to be honest without feeling like they'd hurt my feelings. FDH would not tolerate rude comments such as what you describe nor would I.

However, FDH decided that everything I did to prepare the meals was wrong ("don't do that", "you don't know what you're doing"...blah, blah, blah). So, after getting three chances to STFU I withdrew my cooking services. He does all the cooking now. FDH cooks decent meals but I know the kids miss some of the meals I would cook. I still cook chili and a couple of other things because I like them.

So, for what it's worth, I'd tell your DH to teach the kids some respect and if they can't learn to respect let him cook all the meals.

ahhhaa I had this argument with my husband last month. My ss8 is the same way and its friggin annoying! I find it RUDE and he just didn't get it, trying to turn it around on me etc. If he says HE made the food (even though I did) my ss would eat it, my two boys WOULD NEVER say EWWW to me! I'd put them in time out for it!

The funny thing is SS8 says ew thats gross and pisses and whines but then eats 4 helpings.

I get a sick satisfaction in knowing that one, he gets chastised for talking like that by yours truely and secondly he's gonna get FAT eating like a pig.

sadly I have disengaged and will let him have whatever he wants. its his dads way and who and I to say otherwise

I tell my skids that, that is BAD Manners ...

and not allowed.... I will continue to say that as much
as needed...not that I really want to!

My SD8 does this too and it's so annoying, not to mention disrespectful. Her dad asks her what her mother makes them (her and her brother) for dinner and it's all processed, frozen junk! Whereas I always (when I can) cook homemade healthy meals. One time, I made a Swiss Chalet-type chicken (c'mon, who doesn't like Swiss Chalet???) and she said it was "disgusting". Her dad (Lord bless him) made her sit and eat it all, and all during her "ordeal" she was making gagging faces/noises like we were feeding her her own feces! :? Even though I don't really get along with her (I can barely tolerate her), I always try to cater to her (and her brother's) likes in terms of food (burgers, tacos, pizza - all homemade, mind you), but it's getting pretty boring doing the same things over and over again. So now, if she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to eat it, BUT she won't get any dessert or snacks afterwards (her brother BTW will eat whatever you put in front of him, so he's no problem at all). There are millions of children starving out there, so she can take it or leave it. I hardly think her mom's frozen chicken nuggets are 5-star restaurant fare, anyway! If SD wants to make her OWN meals when she's over, then I will gladly show her the kitchen!

im new to this site - but boy does it all ring so true
ive been in my relationship for almost 2 years. Along with my GF came two skids SD11 ss13.
The sneering at food from SS drives me mad, at either my food or my GF - hes becoming such an arrogant sarcastic little sod, it is hard to not say what i really think. I have no kids of my own.

and the SD eats like a pig - scoffing it down and just bloody greedy.
Its hard not being able to say much as the my GF is so very defensive :?

By being upset about his comments, you are giving him power over you. Punishing him escalates the power struggle. It's like a game of tug-o-war with you each on opposite ends of the rope. Just don't react. Don't get upset. Smile and say, "Oh, ok." ZERO emotion. ZERO. You will see that you have taken the rope out of the tug-o-war. It may take some time, but eventually he will see that he no longer has power over you, then he gets bored and stops trying to play this game.

the same thing happened this week at my house...i made meat, rice and gravy...all of a sudden sd 10 thinks it is to spicey and heavy for her. Has ate it and loved it for the past year. I had to leave and get bd at cheer practice, when i got home was a fried chicken box in trash. Really, since when is fried chicken light? at first dh offered to make her a salad, must not have been good enough for her. but is dh's fault, letting her get away with horrible behavior. I will not cook again when she is home!! dh can have it!! My days of kissing a spoiled ROTTEN child is over.

My SO's kids tried that with me early on. I told them they would sit there until they finished it. They told me they'd tell their dad, I said, I was going to tell their dad they were not only not eating, but being rude about it. When my SO got home, he supported what I said. I very rarely have issues with food now, unless they did something to it to not like it or they genuinely don't like it. I know not to give the oldest blueberries because she genuinely doesn't like them. The youngest, for some odd reason doesn't like soup of any kind, so I have to scoop the chunky stuff out for her to eat.

SD turns up her nose and picks at the food like its crap and says "what's this?" it could be mashed potatoes, broccoli, fried chicken easily recognizable stuff. I ignore her and SO would answer her at first like she was a baby. Now he is even getting irritated with it. She always wants to brag about her mom's cooking to me. Funny thing is that SO did all the cooking in the house because BM was too lazy to cook. So I guess serving Top Ramen or Mac and Cheese makes her BM a chef :?

It was tough for us because BM didn't cook. She would either take them to restaurants (of course, skids would order same thing pretty much every time) or she would throw a frozen dinner in...or have them make sandwiches or whatever.

The next visit sit them all down and tell them they eat what is served and they keep their negative opinions to themselves or they don't eat. Or, when they bitch about a specific item pick up their plate and scrape everything else off, give them more of what they don't like and tell them to eat it or go to their rooms with nothing.

My mom cooked and we ate what was served... PERIOD. Fortunately she is an artist in the kitchen and very few of her dishes were not incredible. I went through a phase where I physically could not swallow squash of any kind. I still had to eat it so I diced it or mashed it and mixed it with the other items on the plate. That worked.