You are here

SS11 does not want to live with BM

happydays's picture

Submitted by happydays on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 12:06am

Forums: 
Parenting Issues

SS11 does not want to live with BM. Every time he goes home he acts up, or runs away, and invariably ends up back with my partner and I. Not one night of the week goes by where he is not in trouble at home, but if my partner allows him to stay with us, she calls the police and forces him to return him. There have been nights when the child has turned up unaccompanied at our flat at 10:30 at night, saying his mother gave him the money for the bus fare out (without checking to see wether or not we are home) and also incidents where the child has turned up with black eye, cuts etc and stated his mother inflicted them. My partner has called the police, but when Social Services went around they interviewed the child in front of the mother, so he felt he had to lie for fear of repurcussions. My partner and I are happy to have him with us, and both love him to bits, but are at our wits end trying to protect him in a system that definately seems to favour an emotionally and mentally unstable woman.

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 1:11am

Give him a phone, old cell it doesnt have to be turned on by a plan, most will still dial 911. He has to call while he is at BMs and something like above happens again, when a child calls for help the system goes into overdrive. When an ex calls, they have in the back of their head that it is a power struggle from a bad divorce.

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 5:45am

^ yes ^

It's really unfortunate that the kid is going to have to rat out his mom, but that's what he is going to have to do. Hopefully at that point the system will help him.

(They didn't help me when I was a kid and I reached out for help, but that was 20+ years ago. So hopefully things have changed since then).

tweetybird74's picture

Submitted by tweetybird74 on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 10:20am

I would ensure you keep notes of all the issues, the times he shows up at your place, bruises etc, keep a log. It sounds like it may be time for your DH to seek custody of your child. I am not sure where you are living, but where I live a child as young as the age of 12 is aloud to speak directly to the judge(in private) regarding where that child wants to live and many times the judge will grant the child what they want, given of course that where the child wants to live will not be more harmful.