Step kids have been threatening me
Hi,
I don't know if other people have experienced anything like this. I am a new SM to an 8yo girl and a 6yo boy. I have been in the kids life every other weekend for the last year and a half. The situation between my husband and his ex has been mind blowingly bad to say the least. I have been told by several people that she has made a career out of "working the system". This abuse of resources meant to help people has caused many many problems my husband and I have found ourselves dealing with the kids about.
One of the many ways they have been taught about using the system (from someone, no one will admit to teaching the kids this) is to either
a. Become physical violent with an adult in an attempt to provoke the adult into taking Any action that can be twisted into some form of child abuse. I.e. The older child has hit me kicked me etc. to try to make me catch her hand or leg before it lands. Just the act of catching or blocking the punch or kick she will insist is child abuse.
B. One will threaten and then act on hurting each other and insist they were dared to do it by me.
C. They will scratch themselves until they draw blood. Or punch themselves in the face until they make a bruise and then they will tell everyone I made the black eye or drew blood by clawing the children.
Now, at this point I'm horrified of spending time alone with the kids for this reason. I have started video taping them often in an attempt to protect myself.
They have had adults report abuse because of the bruising and scratch marks by lying to god only knows who.
I have read a lot about step parenting. The kids are stereotypical broken home angry kids. I get it. I am not liked and I may never be liked. I get it. I stopped killing myself bending over backwards to please them. I spend a lot of time disengaging when they are over.
Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? Cys has been called falsely twice now. Believe me there is SO much more to this than space to type but this seems like a good place to start.
First: RUN If you insist on
First: RUN
If you insist on leaving yourself in a place where two mental cases are trying to get you jailed then I would go to Child Protective Services or whatever its called there and tell them your story. Tell them you need to protect yourself and what can you do. Video tape is wonderful, I would install a system that covers every room constantly, from two angles if possible and yes even the bathroom. It will run constantly reusing its storage space but you'll always have hours of current video in the system. If something happens you can stop the taping and save the incident.
Another option is to get one in a bedroom and beat their ass with their clothes on. Act like you've gone insane and the next time it might be with a knife or something really bad. Scare the shit out of them. Of course that won't be politically correct even if it does work.
But your best option is to get out of there and find a guy without children. Start your own family if you wish but find another guy. This just isn't worth it and like you said its not going to end. As they get older they'll learn how to make it more and more believable.
Stuff like this has happened
Stuff like this has happened to others on this board, so you have others to lean on. I would follow the advice of the other posters above. They know what they are talking about. Put them in counseling like yesterday!! And if you can. let DH deal with them. Disengage and do not make it your problem and do not interact with them. You can call child services as an "overwhelmed parent" and take steps to get them help that way if you do not know where to start. Is BM abusing them? Is there someone in here who is abusing them? They sound awful. While it unsterstandable that kids act about because their mom is nuts and does not know how to parent, it sure doesn't make it any easier to deal with does it? I feel for you, sounds like a total mess!
Web cams and duct tape. When
Web cams and duct tape. When they attempt to hit you then you have it recorded. Then you protect yourself and you wrap them in a sheet, duct tape it up so they can't move, then call your DH.
Duct tape. It can fix just about anything.
Good luck.
No, just a problem solver by
No, just a problem solver by profession.
In a blended family adventure wouldn't it be nice if web cams and duct tape could fix it all? 
Ah duct tape... when I was in
Ah duct tape... when I was in college I used it to wrap a broken ankle rather than go to the hospital and miss a party. Worked great.
Thank you for your response.
Thank you for your response.
Like I said there is a lot more to this story. Let me make it clear I was asking about myself in the question and selfishly left my husband out. He is not throwing me to the wolves with these kids. They are actually worse to him than they are to me. And it hurts him way more than I get hurt by them. They do this to both of us. I fully believe they are being manipulated by someone adult in their lives. They weren't always this angry. I actually love them, when they aren't scaring the hell out of me. We used hAve a good healthy relationship.
I have been asking around in terms of the legal end of the problem, and I am going to help my husband and the kids. I will not run. I've over come scarier monsters than an angry adolescent.
I do disengage. We don't get much info about any of the kids medical from mom. She feels that because she tried to keep my husbands name from the birth cert that allows her to cut him out of whatever part of their lives she wants to. She won't even allow us copies of the kids medical cards.
She didn't tell my husband when she went into labor with either child. I was told she listed her own father As the bio dad of both in an attempt to minipulate the system. She apparently was trying to make it so my husband had no legal leg to stand on if he ever tried to have more with his kids than she was willing to give. I'm learning that might not be true.
Squirt bottle!!!!!!! Use it
Squirt bottle!!!!!!! Use it to break their rants and their attacks. If several squirts to the face don't slow them down.... add some tobasco.
I applaud your dedication and focus.
Take care of yourself.
Good luck.
WTF? I could see how maybe
WTF? I could see how maybe this could happen to a guy who got some chick pregnant in a one night stand or something.... but how in HELL did he knock her up twice???
Never mind, you've got other things going on here. What the kids are doing is NOT normal, not even for angry adolescents, not even for one's who are being told to hate their dad and smom. The level of rage required for that kind of self-harm requires professional treatment, I don't care who's told them what. Get these kids some psychological help, NOW, before they truly harm themselves beyond bruises and scratches.