"you betcha I would do it for my daughter...she has never disrespected me or lied to me."

This is exactly what I would say to DH! I know what you mean. I love my Stepgrands but I would not babysit them every day for free!

Does your husband beat you? I'll guessing not. So let him get angry. He'll get over it.

Yes people can EXPECT anything they want. Doesn't mean that you have to agree with them.

As to you'd do it for your daughter - the answer is "Yes, I'd do it for my daughter. This is not my daughter."

It's okay to say no to things you absolutely do not want to do. But you will probably get better results if you just say no you are not up to doing it without going into you are not doing it because his daughter is a POS.

You do not have to babysit any grandkids. None. These kids will have to go to daycare/preschool eventually.

Babysitting should never be expected nor ever demanded. Your time is a gift. You've been at this for two weeks? Grandma you have done your grandma duty, now you're just being used. Give SD notice that your services are coming to an end and she has until x to find other arrangements.

Help when and how you want to. You can decide you'll help one day a week if you like to have the kids. Perhaps you'd rather just have them an occasional weekend overnight to give SD a break and have it be during a time Grandpa is home to enjoy them too.

Don't let your husband or SD guilt trip you.

Just say nay. Go volunteer somewhere if you need an excuse. Get a job or start doing stuff at church everyday or something. Just get out of that damn house everyday so they don't 'expect' anything.

They will get mad, of course, but they will get used to it.

It's not your responsibility to babysit these kids. She's looking for free daycare.

Of course you'd babysit your DD's kids, they're YOUR grandchildren. Your SD's kids are not.

I'd tell my H and his kid to pound effing sand.

You've done it for two weeks, you now say to your husband, no sorry this isnt working out. You were never happy with it being an ongoing arrangement, their mother is going to have to arrange some other child care because as of XX date you are not available. Then you stick to whatever date you've chosen, give her a day, a week, whatever time scale you want but stick to it.

When she starts with the water works about how unfair etc you just remind her that unfortunately this is one of those things with having children, you need to have proper child care arranged, you have given her two weeks but its not the right set up for you or the kids. Else next thing you know YOU will be blamed for her kids being behind.

As for your husband, offer him to stay at home with his precious grandchildren if he so wants to. The kids shouldnt be being dumped on people that previously werent deemed good enough.

But you are NOT babysitting. Baby sitting is something you do for a few maybe once a week/month.

You being expected to be a parent to these children for 8/10 hours a day and that's a job.

You given him fair warning that you are unable to do this because it is too much for you. And that they need to be in pre school for their benefit.

This is utterly ridiculous! They are not your grand-kids and let you DH be mad. So what?
He will get over it. It is too much for you and you need to stand up for yourself. Please post back that this arrangement has ended and you are OK. Take care of yourself - DH certainly won't.

Tell DH and SD exactly what you shared here. As a point of support you may want to offer 1day a week and make that very structured. That leaves any other time you have them as free form Grandma time.

It is ok to admit that "babysitting" grandchildren is not your thing. I know a lot of Grandparents who resent the fact that they are "stuck babysitting" their own grandchildren and cannot just be Grandparents. I personally do not babysit. I have playdates with my grandchildren, and when I run out of steam...they go back to mom and dad.

You are not being fair to yourself when you ignore how you really feel about this and let dh bully you into doing it. whether "you would do it for your own bio child ", is totally irrelevant. There is no comparison. If you do not want to watch this child then don't. Let him know that is just where you are at right now. he is totally ignoring you and expecting you to do it anyway. That is not fair to you, and quite honestly, it isn't fair to the child either.

If you were choosing to do it of your own free will, that would be different. But if you are doing something that you do not want to do, for someone that you do not get along with, you are not being honest with yourself if you continue to do it. It won't be long before resentment starts to accumulate, and that will only complicate an already bad situation to something worse.

If you are doing what you are doing to keep dh from being "upset" with you...Then, he is emotionally manipulating you, and you are letting him. the REASON you are doing it is the CORE issue. The fact that you are actually doing it..(is just a symptom of something deeper). Respect yourself enough to tell dh "I love you, but this is not going to work for me". and if he tries to use his anger to get you to do it anyway, come back at him with a firm "you are not hearing what I am saying"...I cannot do this and that is just where I am right now. Your voice is important, and this issue effects the quality of your personal life. He needs to hear what you are saying. So many times we are taught that our voice doesn't matter...everyone else matters. and we silence how we really feel, ignore ourselves, because we were taught we don't matter. Everyone else matters. I'll just suck it up to keep the peace....eventually with that thinking, you will either implode, or let yourself disappear altogether.

If that is how you really feel, then you owe it to yourself to be honest with yourself. If others have a problem with it, it really is their problem. Your dh has been trained to ignore how you feel and put everyone else's needs first. (don't feel bad, I trained my dh to ignore me also, I was pretty good at ignoring myself for a long time....until I found me again after 25 years of putting everyone else first. I know it sounds selfish, but it actually is one of the best things you can do...be kind to yourself. Trust me, SOMEONE will always have a problem with it...but that is not yours to concern yourself with. Dh needs to consider you first and foremost. Cherish you, and treat you like a man who loves his woman would. The first step is to learn how to love yourself again and respect yourself so that others will have an example to follow as to how you want to be treated. Boundaries are so important when it comes to steplife because many step kids have never had them....peace.

NEVER!!!! Shame on your SD and your DH for expecting this of you. Very unfair. What is it with some of these young people these days who have this sense of entitlement? And then these parents who play right into it? I just don't get it. In my day, my mother was a stay at home mom and she raised us. She didn't have someone come in and help her the minute she had a runny nose (like my DH runs to help SD who is a stay at home mom - so she can rest...which takes away from our time together and we only have weekends due to work). If your SD has a job she needs to find a permanent solution to this and it isn't you. Step gramma or real gramma, the choice is yours and it should not be an expectation. I feel for you. Tell your DH that you didn't sign up for a daycare job and that if this continues you will lose any appreciation for these kids. Give SD notice right now!

You are a certified teacher... go teach. If you are working, you are not available to be the beck and call girl to care for your SD's breeding results. Mommy needs to step up and take care of her own kids. GPs are on "at will" call as far as spending time with their GKs is concerned and not beck and call resources. That means GPs see the kids when they want to see the kids if the kids are available.

As many on here say fairly regularly..... "NO!" is a complete sentence. Tell them no.

Simple answer. If the stepdaughter could not show you any respect why does she want to use you now? You owe the girl and her offspring NOTHING. YOUR PARTNER SHOULD BE AWARE OF THE REASONS FOR YOUR RELUCTANCE TO GET INVOLVED. IF HE WAS VIOLENT TO YOU OR THREATENED YOU IF YOU DID NOT HELP THE UNGRATEFUL STEPDAUGHTER, I HOPE YOU HAD AN EXIT PLAN IN PLACE....you will soon wonder how on earth you got involved with him and his rotten offspring in the first place.

My current partner's daughter is/was ungrateful, sneaky, a liar and frequently stole from my home. When she got pregnant I refused to attend the baby shower.

The child now 8 has turned out to be a replica of her mother......

I have completely disengaged from the girl and hope that you left the abusive partner. MAKE THEM FIND THEIR OWN CHILD CARE..NOT YOUR CONCERN. HIS ROTTEN DAUGHTER WILL SOON REALISE THE ERROR OF HER WAYS.. .I KNOW THE FEELING.

A former stepdaughter I had years ago made my life absolute hell and told lies on my disabled son who was 5 and could not talk. My stepdaughter was 9 and had literacy difficulties but knew how to lie. My then partner hit my son when I was out one day through a lie the step daughter told..My 3 year old daughter told me what happened. I told off my then partner who is NOT my current partner and threw the girl out of my home as my then partner had his own place. I told him that I never wanted to see the little ***** ever again.

He took her to his mother's home in the Midlands.

3 weeks later he brought her back...boy did I cuss...I wanted her out of my home altogether. I made my feelings quite clear that if she blamed my son for something he did not do ever again she was OUT of my home...

THE FORMER PARTNER PROPOSED MARRIAGE TO ME BUT I REFUSED MOSTLY BECAUSE OF HIS ROTTEN CHILD.

7 months later, I found out that my then partner was having an affair with the next door neighbour. I THREW HIM AND HIS BRAT OUT IMMEDIATELY..... the mistress had absolute HELL WITH HIS DAUGHTER AND HE SPOKE TO ME A FEW MONTHS LATER MOANING THAT HIS DAUGHTER HAD NO MANNERS . I LAUGHED AND SAID YOU KNEW SHE HAD NO MANNERS WHEN SHE LIVED WITH ME. SHE IS NOT PART OF MY HOUSEHOLD ANYMORE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE DOES...HE WAS ASHAMED.

I NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR THAT STEPDAUGHER AGAIN... .

Unfortunately my history with steps has not been good.I tend to be nice to them at first but see through them when they try to take liberties, then I disengage...

For the steps I now do nish. If they show respect they are treated very well, if no respect from the stepkids as from my current partner's 39 year old son, his 30 year daughter and the BRAT I.e. the daughter's 8 year old daughter, I have made it quite clear that I am NOT am getting involved everagain. Nuff said..

I knew she would phone today for help with the BRAT. My partner had a job so I don't know what arrangement they had to pick up the BRAT ( his daughter's 8 year old daughter)...not my concern as I am disengaged..... My partner forgot his phone and travel pass.

She rang. I ignored the phone when I saw her number flash up........

The worthless son still had nowhere to doss out at. Not my concern either. His car has been round my area most of the time. He must have been thrown out by the latest hussy that he has.......

I am laughing inside....KARMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She phoned just now begging her father to pick up the brat for her 2marra... I came out of the room. I know she is gonna try and work her brain to get round to me to do it for her and for Thursday...I am due in the office this Thursday and can't do it anyway... I ain't wasting my time on that girl anymore... she, her worthless brother and her brat ain't worth my time......

I'm fed up.... The conniving so-and-so KNEW her father was working and couldn't pick up the BRAT as you all know I have completely disengaged from the Brat, her mother and her worthless uncle.....

My partner had to still pick up the BRAT today and has left HER with ME. I am so fed up!!!!! Even though my partner's daughter hates my guts, she is still indirectly begging my help.....

Life aint fair but I am cornered as I sometimes ask my partner to keep an ear out on my grandkids.....

If me and my partner ever split and I decide to move away, my partner's daughter, eldest son and the BRAT will NEVER EVER KNOW WHERE I LIVE......

I have been reminding my partner that I am in the Office on Thurs not Weds this week....I KNOW she is going to beg me to pick up the BRAT on THURS.......NO CAN NO.....

What's happening now is that my partner's daughter is leaving her child at my home till after 8pm Mon to Thursday. The BRAT now makes her on way to my home straight from school. The BRAT's mother has said nothing to me about it. I asked my partner if his daughter was working longer hours at the shop. He said yes. What is irritating is that I will tell my partner if my grandkids are coming or their mum has to work late but his daughter says nothing to me about it.

My partner KNOWS I am fed up of his daughter and the BRAT. I leave the care of the BRAT to my partner and disengage....I am NOT interested...

My partner's worthless son is going to be a daddy again. The reliable source told me that the girl he tried to bring into the neighbour's house is PREGGERS.

NOT MY PROBLEM!!!! I HOPE THE CURRENT GIRL HE LIVES WITH KICKS HIM OUT BUT HE AIN'T COMING TO MY HOME......

Do not babysit BRAT
When Brat just shows up take her to her mother at the shop or to your partner at work
Send her up on her own(if old enough)
then leave.
Make plans to fill your day(have a late bookclub etc)
When people get mad just ask for compensation(they get compensated for the time they leave BRAT with you no?)
Call child services for advice or a lawyer for free consult on your obligations toward BRAT if you feel especially ballsy.

NOPE

PS I am a Granny