what to do
Long story short I have a stepson who is 19 who was injured and paralyzed from the waist down when he was 16. I have 2 daughters from previous marriage 15 and 17, there is also a 15 y/o step daughter. My wife and step son 6 months after injury moved to another state for 2 years so he could do rehab and I took care of the home etc. when he did come home he would hangout with the wrong friends and started having issues with drugs( those Rx for him and other forms) We tried for 2 years to get him straight and to try and understand what he was going through, but for 2 yrs was nothing but lies and manipulation that have been felt through our house. His bio dad has been little help leaving almost all of the responsibly on us. His mom continues to defend him telling everyone we don't understand what he goes through, but we all see the manipulation and lies that he uses and has completely ruined our home living conditions. He is capable of daily living activity and driving, but is completely untrustworthy and we are all tried of living in the environment that exists. He abuses his Rx, pot,buy and sell, and has even had our kids in his car when doing so. I have told my wife that i will not live like this anymore and will not subject my kids to this any longer and our marriage will be over if he continues to live in our house.Help am I being unreasonable? There is so much more but I don't have time to type tonight just needed to start to get off my chest. P.S. rest of family on both sides see how she defends him and he manipulates her and nobody wants to be around our family
I would start by telling the
I would start by telling the doctors that he is abusing the drugs.. If he is acting out etc he may not need them anymore... and if he has no cash he can't buy any dope. He can't abuse drugs.. and obviously that is another issue with his behavior because you are probably dealing with the addiction rather than himself.
And then trying to find him a group to help him with this new transition despite it being 3 years...
I wanted to suggest 'war-amps' where the children get to used life with a prosthetic arm, leg or what have you... There has to be something for people going through the same thing. He is obviously struggling with his transitioning and not being able to walk.
And thereapy one hundred percent... plus one or both of the above. How has he gotten to the point of zero respect for the household... and zero care for what he teaches the younger kids?
Thank you for the response he
Thank you for the response he has been dropped by one pain mgmt dr to to failed drug tests. Tried aa and consuling he tells you what you want to hear but continues to do what he wants. He gets an income from ss. I havee had the cops at our house at 4am because him and the neighbor kid were doing things they were trying to scare him. We heard the same apoligies I have heard 2 dozen times before only to have him partying and coming home stoned again and continually bringing stuff into our home. My wife would continually defend his actions and the other kids and myself are always overreacting. He only cares about his friends partying and pills.
While his mother feels sorry
While his mother feels sorry for him, while she makes excuses for his behaviour and blames the accident for it. Nothing will ever change. Your wife is harming her son. She is feeding him ready made excuses and has no expectations of him whatsoever, while she does this, the kid has no hope. Your wife needs help in order to move past her sons accident and to help him be the best person he can be. Until she sorts herself out, he never will.
You are not wrong, you and your children should not be subjected to this. But it's up to your wife to change how she deals with this.