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14 yr SD manipulating mom to breakup with me

Adult Who Thinks Kids Should Be Kids's picture

Submitted by Adult Who Think... on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 12:28am

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Step/Bio Father's Den

I have a SD that was abandoned by her dad at 4 but now has decided to go live with him at 14 because mom decided to marry me. She's hanging the carrot out to mom that she might move home if I'm gone. However dads new wife makes $500,000 a year. I can't let a 14 yr old self centered twerp rule my love life. Any advice?

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 12:37am

If Mom allows 14-year-old twerp to manipulate her that way, she doesn't deserve you.

That said, rise above and don't be a dick about this. Just be supportive and don't sink to the level of the little princess.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 2:11am

If your fiancé is thinking clearly, she will not give in to this attempt at manipulation - and as the previous poster said, she doesn't deserve you if she does. It might be worth her remembering that the 14 year old will be off living their own life in 5 years or so - and then she will be back on her own again, if she has been foolish enough to go down the route you describe.

Adult Who Thinks Kids Should Be Kids's picture

Submitted by Adult Who Think... on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 2:47am

Thanks

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 7:06am

Hopefully he mother will tell her you are 14, you don't get to tell me where you will live and you don't get to tell me who I should live with.

She's testing the waters here, if she wins round 1, God help you all.

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 7:50am

And you need to float above the fray and smile and nod. This is the time that will define the new family dynamic, I think it's really important here for you to let Daughter and mom hash this out. Because, sadly, whatever you say can and will be used against you. :O Smile and nod, smile and nod....... Good luck guy. Smile

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Sun, 07/07/2013 - 1:09am

Welcome to the club. Dont let SD rule control what you have with your wife. Keep an eye on the wifes reactions to the daughter. This will show just how much your wife loves you or does not love you. Some parents are too much in love with their own children and you will like your spouse has a lover.

beepysee's picture

Submitted by beepysee on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 1:43am

A mother will always love her children, loves you too of course but you are not number one, the kids are.
You will have to go along with it but be calm and clear with your partner with what you expect and need, get agreement before it goes bad.
Good luck

Executivestepmother's picture

Submitted by Executivestepmother on Wed, 07/10/2013 - 8:26pm

Dude, Put your foot down. Tell her whats up. No grown woman allows herself to be manipulated by a child like that who truly wants to be in a relationship with you. Tell her you want to take a break. Remind her what it feels like to be alone. It won't take long before she remembers how lonely it is with out you.

OR JUST RUN!!!!