Pack your stuff and leave.

If they live in your home, pack their shit and put them out.

Realize how lucky you are? Really? Lucky eh? That's not what I consider luck.

Welcome aboard. I hope you find it interesting and helpful here. You may not always be agreed with, but the people here are mostly compassionate and very willing to lend an ear or helping hand.

As far as your situation goes - how long have you been with your wife and what does she say about how you feel?

I felt this way in the beginning, before I learned what I was worth and how to speak up without feeling guilty.
Let that little bastard hit you, then call the damn cops and get an RO .... no more of him in your house.

Refuse to do anything for them. Most people do not want to hear negative things about their kids but your wife needs to understand that they are squatters and in the end it is your marriage that is left (if it makes it that long).

Once I stated what I was willing to do and not willing to do and I STOOD MY GROUND there was a monumentous shift in my household and in my life and it has been for the better (MUCH better).

Doyou have joint accounts? I know it's not for everyone but the one thing that helped change things were that DH and I had separate accounts. We had 1 joint account for household stuff (I paid half the mortgage, half our credit cards, but only 1/4 of everything else. One of me, three of them) and then our own accounts which we paid our own bills, gas for cars out of. DH sure learned to appreciate me after that.

You are not powerless at all. Just scared of the fight. Is it not worth the fight to stand up for yourself and demand respect for yourself in your own home. The kids are powerless, they cannot go out and get themselves a home, furniture, a car a cell phone, pay utilities, food etc,, tomorrow. You can. You are not dependant on them for anything. They are the dependent ones.

If your wife doesn't like it and packs her kids up and leaves then trust me, she didn't love you and would have gone eventually. So best you find out sooner rather where you stand here.

Stop taking their crap so as to avoid a fight with your wife. Don't fight with kids. Tell them what you want if they mouth off or don't do it. Then there needs to be consequences, that could be as simple as not servicing their needs and not paying for them.

If you keep servicing their needs while they treat you like this, your wife included, then you are rewarding them for treating you like an idiot. So why would they change anything. They're getting what they want. Your not, so you need to change the way your doing things.

STand up for yourself! It might not be great at first, but FIGHT BACK. Take that home back!

This is not a good situation..... unless this was a random 'bad day' posting I would do what everyone else is saying ..... be brave and move on with your life. It will be difficult and probably painful but you have one life -- why waste it feeling this way? Be clear with your wife, Family therapy if you have to but set some standards with consequences and keep to them . It might result in them all moving out - but that must be preferable to being a doormat in your own home. So sorry you have found yourself here -- BUT -- come on - get on with it and get results! You have support here in the forums all the time.....

And write that Book!!

I have similar problem. It's all very well being told to leave or kick someone out but it's not that easy. The mother loves the kids first know matter what they are like. I expect you love your wife so how can you leave?
The only way is calm discussion. Start by telling her how you see it from her point of view before you tell her how you feel. You need to be united if there is trouble at home or it won't work.
Don't write a book - read. I have a stack of self help and relationship books that have been good for me all for pennies from thrift/charity shops.
Don't give up, be heard and do it calmly after you have told her you love her.

Sometimes you have to enforce the line of acceptable behavior and deal with things rather than accept or ignore them.

I would pull the SS aside andhave a man to man with him. Tell him you have a line, he has crossed it and he had better gain instant clarity or he will be out of YOUR marrital home. If the kid swings at you, drop him, hog tie him and call the cops to haul him off.

My SS took his swing at me when he was 15. I put him against the wall then spun him out the front door in to a ragging blizzard with no coat and only one shoe. I left him out there for about 20mins while his mom and I discussed the situation. She had been addressing a behavioral issue, he got lippy, I stepped in, he got lippy, I told him to watch his mouth, he swung.

That was the one and only physical conflict that he and I have ever had other than a few instances of corporal punnishment when he was much younger.

He is now 21 and he, his mom and I have a great relationship

As for the teen girl, same thing. Set your expectations, give her clarity, stick to your expectations.

As you have probably already realized the problem is not the Skids. The problem is your wife. She needs the same come to Jesus meeting and clarity with focus on your marriage and status as equity partners. She needs to know in no uncertain terms that she gets her spawn under control or the Spawn are not welcome in your marrital home.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

i am the mom with 2 bio kids and a man with no kids....i insituted a "united front" in our home and flatly told my kids that they didnt have to like him but they WOULD respoect him. I am sorry that your wife has not made you an equal. if you are providing for them they should show you the proper respect for that. talk to your wife. not argue or yell but really talk to her. tell her how hurt and emasculated you feel. she should have enough respect for you to attempt to at least be a go-between for you. good luck.