Balancing the needs of step and bio children
Forums:
I am a new father (14 month old son) and have a 7 year old SD. I am caring for both the best that I can but have noticed that I am getting overly protective of my BS when it comes to my SD. How do I make sure that I am not alienating her?
Another question. Where might there be a good forum for dealing with the never ending headache of my wife's ordeal with her ex on all a things custody of my SD? This consumes my wife and is making me critical to how she cares for our BS.
Thanks
Slippery 
It's normal to be protective,
It's normal to be protective, the trick is to not let it show. You recognize the problem so you're half "cured". Now just make sure you don't over-react when the girl is around the baby.
Give us a specific incident that we can address and put it in a new Thread.
My children (both biological)
My children (both biological) nearly the same ages as yours. It's not like having a three or four year old who may hit an infant/toddler. My seven year old knows never to be rough with my toddler, his little sister. What do you mean by protective? Like OC said, can you give an example?
Thanks for the replies. As
Thanks for the replies.
As for being protective, recently we were in the car on a long ride and I witnessed her covering his face with her pillow. My reaction was like nothing I had ever had before. I said something about her doing that might be the last time she ever has hands to use (implying I would take her hands). This was so far out of character for me. My SD's mother (my wife) felt my reaction was normal, and was equally mad, but obviously didn't imply retaliation like I did.
I am also concerned that my feelings for my SD are changing as a result of her BF's continuous source of negativity in my wife's day to day life. I am worried that my wife's frustrations with her custody situation are manifesting themselves into various emotional outbursts directed at her daughter, me, and my BS.
Okay - I am not sure where to take this stuff so decide to vent here.
Thanks for listening.
Slippery
Your SD's attempted
Your SD's attempted smothering of your BS is sadly not unusual. My brother's second oldest once tried the same thing with his youngest. The middle one was 7yo and the youngest was less than 2. My brother freaked out over that.
My BIL2 tried to smother my SIL when they were about the same ages. To this day BIL claims that SIL ruined his life merely by her birth.
The parents are the ones that determine how this turns out. My two nephews are now extremely close (17 and 12) while my BIL2 and SIL can barely stand to be in the same room together (32 & 27). My brother and SIL remained extremely diligent in keeping an eye on my two nephews while my ILs just shrugged it off and ignored it.
Stay on top of it, keep connected with your bride as you both work through parenting in the blended family and your Skid and your DS will be fine.
IMHO of course.