damn kids
today my stepson told his grandparents that i am constantly cursing at and around him, which is not true. i may say some fairly common words like ass or friggin while he is around, but he is in middle school so i figured he can handle those words. he also said that he is "emotionally distressed" because i said the F word in an arguement we had a few weeks back. my fiance stuck up for me but the damage was done. after she tried explaining, they had nothing to say pretty much, which means to me that they dont believe her. this is also bad because her ex husband was physically and verbally abusive. im so sick of this kid. i really want nothing to do with him but i cant escape him. he is constantly biting the hand that feeds him, and i think im at the point where i dont want to feed him anymore. im not a baby so im not going to go and punish him for telling this to his grandparents, so maybe ill just wait for him to screw up and ill get to have my fun punishing him then. anyways, i just needed to vent
Maybe because your fiances X
Maybe because your fiances X was abusive the kid is just scared that the same thing is going to happen with you once you marry his mom. Reassuring him that you are not mean and not sitting around waiting to punish him would probably be a better approach. It is great that your fiance had your back...prove that she was right having your back by continuing to be a positive influence to her child even through the tough stuff!
If the language bothers him
If the language bothers him so much, can you just dial it back around him? If the BD was abusive then it may really bother him. It may not be anything more than that. Don't be so harsh, he is a kid.
I would not sweat it. You
I would not sweat it. You told the GPs it never happened. If they don't believe you don't sweat it. My IL's have always considered me to be the idiot city boy SIL or BIL while they are the counry folks who know how it really is. They are always whining about being screwed by "the man" and how none of their job firings, foreclosures, reposessions or bankruptcies are their fault. My agriculture laborer BIL used to call me during harvest season and attempt to egg me in to telling him how much my last pay check is for while spouting how he worked 110hrs that week and made $X. After a few years of this I violated my policy of never engaging with him on this topic. I never told him what I make but I did snap back at him "That is pretty good. I make that in a day and a half of work". He went silent and did not speak to me for a few years.
I actually felt bad about that.
While they have been talking about me and my wife as the dipshit urban wing of the family I have had a successful career that has allowed me to support their daugter and grand son. How have I done this? By being THE MAN!!! }:)
Sit back, wait and let the ILs figure out the truth if they are capable of figuring it out. If they are not, enjoy the entertainment you get from watching stupid people justify their actions and opinions.
When the opportunity arrises I would also pull SS aside and let him know that if he ever again attempts to adversely influence your relationship with your Fiance or her parents that you will pull everyone together and have him explain publically that he is a liar and that you will make his life a living hell until he changes his behavior accordingly.
If you handle this effectively it will also be an opportunity to build some trust between the two of you. Dealing with him directily and in an adult fashion may go a long way in his realization that you are not a repeat of his abusive former SF.
Good luck and best regards.
Best regards.
He shouldn't gossip about
He shouldn't gossip about you, I agree. But you shouldn't curse around ANY kid, no matter the relationship to you. I have an 11-year-old son, and I punish him even when he says "shut up" to his sister! "Can you please be quite?" is the only acceptable way to express what he is trying to express. Aren't there enough words in the English language to express your thoughts/feelings without using the "parasite words"?