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Ending a 7 year relationshihp........

Helliance's picture

Submitted by Helliance on Tue, 02/21/2017 - 2:41pm

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Step/Bio Father's Den

I feel like I jumped into something thinking I could handle it but ended up eating my own pride. I am ending a relationship today of 7 years simply due to tiredness. I am tired of fighting with her step kids after raising them for the past 7 years. Im tired of the yelling matches with the 15 year old and the 13 year old has autism and does what he see's his brother do to me. its complete chaos. and i got fed up. every argument just got bigger, and bigger and more violent to the point where i know this is not the person that I truly am. My GF on the other hand seems to feel a bit betrayed after telling me time and time over that if I chose to leave, she would understand. And now since I am choosing to not fight, she gets pissed. I watched this woman put her eldest son in every awesome school and school district that she could to give him a better shot at life and education and he just fucks it up with no drive. I have tried to limit his life to just plain jane but she doesnt see where that helps. I have crossed my last fight and will not do anymore. If i do, i will live in a separate home. Is my train of thought irrational here. Oh. keep in mind i have a 6 year old I have been blessed with who loves me to death and who also needs my attention more.

-opinions

Helliance's picture

Submitted by Helliance on Tue, 02/21/2017 - 3:06pm

yes 6 year old is with his mom who doesnt properly parent and so he wants to be with me all the time. I have no problem with that but she only wants the child support.

Helliance's picture

Submitted by Helliance on Tue, 02/21/2017 - 3:08pm

Its her home. I moved in after helping for months on odd bills before the home I was renting went into foreclosure due to bad property management. I wasnt in the hole so I was fine. But she has had financial issues here and there and it would be a big challenge to get it all together to manage on her own again. I just didnt want to go thru it with her kids anymore because I am a good guy. I dont deserve that treatment.

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Wed, 02/22/2017 - 12:54am

Redefine the situation for your sake and for your son's sake. Get an apartment and continue to "date," or get an apartment and a divorce or any other permutation you think will work. Your son needs you to be a positive, healthy parent. You are teaching your child every day what it means to be a grown-up with values and boundaries. He is watching you all the time. Make your actions matter.

I'm sorry that the woman you chose to breed with is a sucky parent. Be a better parent and extract your child as much as you are able. Child support is a small price to pay if it enables your son to live with a happy, sane adult. Think about the pebble dropped into the pond --- your investment in your child will have a ripple effect over decades.

Helliance's picture

Submitted by Helliance on Wed, 02/22/2017 - 2:30pm

no im not with my sons mom. im with my current gf. we do not have any kids together. i am co parent to her 2 sons by another guy.

Helliance's picture

Submitted by Helliance on Thu, 03/02/2017 - 9:23am

Updated Situation:

After receiving and honest apology from the young man, I decided to give this one more shot. But I also felt that this was going to be a very hard task given the past. Whats in the past you ask. Well, I have had my own demons years prior to this with being monogamous. After breaking that barrier and being committed to my relationship fully, I am now living with a GF that wants to check my phone and my call log on my phone bill for validation of information which I don't truly understand. I was open to this at first but now, I am a bit bothered. It feels more like a witch hunt considering that things have been conflict free on my side for over a year now. And I also feel like this may not work because i feel there is no line anymore that we cant cross. Im big on privacy and grieving. I have adjusted to grieving properly when I am having issue. But I feel now that I am under inspection and will have to explain phone calls that are not out of line.

Im not sure how to feel or where this goes, but right now, I am not very happy with the current temperature.