The return again of SS
Forums:
Well, SS20 made it almost 11 months floating from couches and actually renting a place for 3 months which of course they couldn't make rent. Back home again he comes. It could be worse as he isn't disrespectful and isn't a bad person but its like groundhog day. Same mistakes over and over again and never learning. He says its only go to be 1 month this time but last time, 1 month turned into 6. I suspect it will be longer as he got fired from a decent job and is now delivering pizza in the evenings in a car without a window in the back. fun times ahead.
I disengaged years ago after
I disengaged years ago after trying so hard for 10 years of his life giving. Hopefully its just a short term thing and he figures things out sooner rather than later. Being disrespectful hasn't ever been an option with me and he has known that.
And he has been allowed to
And he has been allowed to darken your doorway yet again why????? :? :? :?
Say no. It works. If DH and the toxic spawn whine .... hand them a flyer for the nearest armed forces recruiting office. Buy-bye.
My wife would never turn him
My wife would never turn him away. I just wish I could see something positive from him that he is learning but I fear this will be a recurring issue. Who knows, maybe the fifth time will be a charm.
I get why your bride
I get why your bride tolerates his presence. Why do you? Time to bring the consequences for his behavior and your bride can step up and deal with it effectively before you have to or ... she can bite her tongue.
Publish the rules and criteria for SS's presence in YOUR marrital home. Enforce the rules, bring the consequences. He complies, or he leaves. This is not your bride's decision. It is yours and yours alone. She has proven she can't make an effective decison regarding her useless spawn. So, you will have to do it.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.
And his car got impounded so
And his car got impounded so now, no car and no job. Keeps getting better.
When my SS was just a couple
When my SS was just a couple of years older he was unemployed, sleeping on the floor at various apartments (not even a couch)getting kicked out. He'd get a job, get fired. Get an apartment - get evicted. Find a GF to live with - get kicked out with a police escort in the middle of the night, etc. Sound familiar?
But SS did not ever spend even one night in our home. Even when we were out of town for months at our 2nd home. I'd rather let a bag of cockroaches loose in my home than allow SS to move in.
And BM and her DH basically felt the same (after many disappointments). SS had to finally learn how to fend for himself. He now has a pregnant GF (whose mother bought a house for her) to live with. And at least attempts to wait tables. I doubt if this will last - but not my problem.
I wish it was that simple but
I wish it was that simple but it never is. I have been part of his life for 14 years so its hard on both my wife and I with all the poor choices he continues to make. My thing is had enough 3 years ago and until I can see a vast improvement in him, I am still done. I told my wife that I am not doing this the rest of my life and it clued into her that he will or could be the death of our marriage as I don't think he can ever change.
And what did your wife say to
And what did your wife say to that ?
She was upset at first but
She was upset at first but then realized it was the truth. No sense arguing about it.