Step Daughters - how do you get on with your SD's that still see their dad?
I get on fine with mine most of the time but as they are getting older they seem to dislike me more and more and seem to resent the fact that I am there, not there dad. It was there dad that left them at a very young age, it's not my fault.
Whenever there are arguments that I have to sort out (if BM is out for eg) they call their mum and say I don't want to live here anymore, he (as in me) can't tell me off or what to do, I want to go and live with daddy blah blah blah....i'd rather not get involved or sort things out but someone always comes to me and she did that, she did this, please tell her off, sort it out...
You would expect girls to be daddy's girls but just running or thereatening to run off to him is too easy and having helped bring them up since they were little is very very frustrating to know that they don't appreciate that as just see me as some horrible person, which I am not and have treated them very well
They are now 10, 13 and 15 - I have known them since they were 3,5 and 7
My wife is worried that I will have enough of their resentment and leave - but I won't because I love her too much and we also have a 4 year old son.
They are now at the age where
They are now at the age where they are questioning relationships. They are starting to understand that BF is not the same as SF... and BM is not the same as SM... and that they can play both sides at their whim.
That is what they are doing.
They need a good talking to. Explain that you love them, but calling the other parent on the phone to complain about you is making matters very difficult, and that if you find out they have done that, they will be in trouble for it.
Nip this in the bud quick.
We had to do the same thing when SD was 13... she would call her BM and tell her everything that was going on in our house.... (nothing was happening, but if she was mad at us... and she would say what a baby I was if I didn't get my way...ie: telling DH that he must stick with SD's grounding.... )
She would play both sides. She would call her BM psycho and get everyone involved when she fought with her BM... and then she would get grounded by us and do the same thing to to us.
Finally, we sat her down. Tired of her calling BM and then BM calling us and wanting to know every detail of why SD was grounded, etc....
We told SD... all this drama.... YOU created. Calling your BM because you don't like being grounded is WRONG. And if you do that again... and she calls us.... YOU WILL BE GROUNDED LONGER. Do you understand? That ended BM calling us. I am sure SD was still calling BM... but she got BM to stop calling us for fear of further grounding.
DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA... they all do it.
Sorry ...
If you don't get the Bio
If you don't get the Bio father to step feeding into this you will end up losing them. They will go live there. BTDT.