15 yr old treats me awfully
Hi I'm 26 I am stepmom to a 7yr old who I get on with really well and am very close to but I'm also step parent to a 15 yr old girl who seems to hate me. I have a volatile relationship with both my partners exes the oldest ones mum used to be fine with me until me and her daughter fell out the first time now she just constantly stares me out and slates me to her family so I hear. The youngest ones mum never liked me because I got with my partner pretty much straight after he left her so I guess that's a jealous thing although she will speak civilly to me now. Anyway back to the 15 year old she has recently become very pally to my partners ex and spends a lot of time with her and her younger sister I get this it's normal but ever since she has been doing this she has turned against me and she very rarely bothers with her dad he has been crying over it the last two days. I messaged his daughter last night to ask her to sort out what is going on with her dad and she turned the whole conversation round on me and made it personal against me I have been in her life since she was 8 I let her live with us at 12 because she wasn't getting on with her mum and I have always been there when she needed to talk to the point where she said she wanted a baby which I managed to talk her out of. Her mum doesn't know any of this because she didn't want to tell her but her dad does because I told him. I tried to help her and her dad sort things out but she got quite nasty with me saying that I'm the one with the issues etc even though I try to help. It's caused a big argument between the whole family and I am getting blamed and abused for it I just feel like giving up on her altogether because she is always picking at me and giving me attitude when I just want everyone to get on. Does anyone think that this could be to do with the fact that she is very friendly with my partners ex who 3 years ago would call her a spoilt brat that got more then her own daughter I really don't understand it and I don't know what to do anymore I'm only young and although I chose this life I knew there would be hard times but not this bad. We even took her to America back in October paid for the whole lot and her attitude over there was also really bad and she was very selfish towards my children I am at the end of my tether is anyone else going through this??
OMG. You have no idea that
OMG. You have no idea that you are 55% of the problem.
You don't communicate with your partners ex's. There is no reason to. You are overstepping boundaries.
You are closer in age to the 15 yo than her father, most likely. Of course she will not "respect you". You are her PEER, you moron!!!
You definitely don't cross lines by calling, texting, talking to, or interfering with this teen by talking to her about her Dad, her family, her relationships, etc. Exactly who do you think you ARE in all of this?
You are Daddies young, hot side piece, no more, no less. At least to them, you are.
May/December relationships happen and sometimes they work. But they WON'T work if you keep pretending to be the "lady of the house" and flounce around flaunting your faux-maturity. (because everything you are doing is incredibly immature, and smacks of a little girl trying to act grown up) It is your DH's job to navigate his own relationships with his kids and his ex's. HIS JOB. NOT YOURS.
Stop contacting the teen. Stop contacting the ex's. Just be Dad's girlfriend, because that is what you are. I can assure you, he is likely NOT amused or appreciative of your antics and the problems you are causing him. You are just lucky enough that for now, the sex is worth it. Make yourself big enough of a problem, and it won't be.
She's been a stepmom longer
She's been a stepmom longer than/ as long as you. She has a job and is in college. You should ease up a bit.
I've been a married SM coming
I've been a married SM coming on 10 years, and have lived with the SKIDS for over 14 years. So unless the OP was 12 when she hooked up with Daddy-O, then no, you are waaaay off base.
I'm 42. Got married at 33.
My commentary may be harsh, but I do feel it is well deserved. Not one poster has supported that the OP's actions have been reasonable. She's obviously very immature for 26 and acting out in very inappropriate ways.
Had a mature 26 yo written this and said... My DH is much older than I and the SKids and Ex's are having a hard time dealing with it" my reaction would have been very different.