Happily married & have two step kids. They live an hour & fifteen minutes away from us. Their BM is responsible for half of the transportation, buying their clothes for that household, & has the kids during the school year. My DH & i have the kids during the summers, Christmas break, & every other weekend during the school year. We are responsible for the other half of the transportation, clothes for this household, & so on. Well the BM lost her drivers license due to too many car accidents & they all now depend on public transportation. BM buys a couple pairs of jeans maybe a shirt or two & a couple of training bras at the beginning of the school year for her kids. l believe the bras are for the daughter..who knows anymore! We been buying the kids clothes for both homes, coats, boots, some other stuff too. When we pick them up for the weekend, its a bad experience for everyone. They take only weekly showers at their BM, in charge of washing their own clothes..so u can about imagine how bad they smell when we pick them up. My SD 14 refuses to brush her hair, has soiled underwear & or has blood in them. DH has made them shower before they left as i waited in the car or just stood inside. Bringing them here is hard on them & on us when it comes to a weekend visit. The last several visits, we only took them out for the afternoon. They don't seem to care that we only took them out shopping & out to eat. DH thinks we should do the afternoon thing when our time is due & i feel the same as him where this is concerned. We can't decide or know how to decide of what to do when it comes to the weekend visits. Any ideas? Honestly its to the point that we only think we should bring them here trying to do the right thing but we both don't want to. They really do not try with keeping up with themselves & its taking such a toll on everyone involved. SD 14 as i said before & SS turns 16 next month.