Can anybody help me? I am currently living with my partner of 6 years. We both have two children, mine are 12 and 7 and live with their mum. Hers are 18 and 28, one 'supposedly' lives with us and the other is married. My problem is with the 18 daughter. She is cheeky, lazy and spoilt. She has stayed with her boyfriend every night (for the past 8 or 9 months) and only comes home to get fed then goes again. If she was getting fed at her boyfriends she would be expected to pay housekeeping!! When she does come 'home' all she does is sit on Facebook or watch TV. She NEVER does any chores around the house. I have mentioned this to my partner over the past 6 years and she keeps saying she will say to her. I have heard her tell her that she needs to start helping out but nothing ever gets done.
To make matters worse she has gotten herself pregnant and assumes that she will just move back in when the baby is born so her mum can look after it for her!!! To say I wasn't happy is an understatement and we have had nothing but rows ever since. My partner was initially of the same opinion as me. She can look after it herself but has since calmed down and wants her to live with us. All of this was agreed without any thought on either part of what my feelings were. That's probably what annoys me the most. It's my house too but I seem to get no consideration. I get the usual she's not your daughter...
It all came to a head yesterday when we had just came home from getting the groceries, going out of our way to pick daughter up from boyfriends because she was too lazy to walk (he lives 200 yards down the road!). My partner then went to take her daughters dog for a walk and was leaving me to put groceries away and put dinner on!!! I suggested that the daughter should take her own dog but no - that would be too much to ask. When my partner left I told daughter that she needed to help out more. The answer was **************. Possibly EVERY swearword imaginable was hurled at me. I told her she was a spoilt lazy wee ***** and she would either help out or get out.
I then went for a walk and met my partner on the way. I told her what had happened and when I got back it suddenly was all my fault. I shouldn't have asked her to help?!?!? Why, cause my OH asking has worked so well?
It's always my fault and I'm sick of it. My OH has suggested she moves out for a while but wants to sell our house to fund it. I have said no. She can move out if she wants but I'm not selling our house cause of her brat. I am tired of being the bad guy. I get blinded constantly by the sun shining out of the daughters backside...
To make matters worse we are supposed to be getting married in June 2012. The baby is due in May. I don't want to get married after having 2 months of no sleep and (I assume) constant bickering due to the daughter being a lazy bitch. The way I'm feeling right now I don't even know if I want to get married. I have been told by my OH and her daughter that the daughter will ALWAYS come first. How does that make me feel? used, unloved? The list goes on.
I would appreciate any thoughts and help anyone can give me. I really do love my OH to bits but her daughter and the parenting of her daughter is making life miserable. I have tried talking to my OH and explaining how I see things but the daughter can do no wrong. Help me please...